Female Education and Marriage

Today, every one of us has a choice to chose the path we want to take.  Whether it is to get an education first, then, love and marriage later or love and marriage first and education later.  In Jane Austen's time, the wealthier you are, the better an education, and therefore, the better a marriage match you will get.  Your social status and economic level will also be better.

In Pride and Prejudice, the father, Mr. Bennett, permits his daughters to be independant individuals.  He allows them the use of his library, making them use their brains, and to think for themselves.  He allows them to make their own decisions and stand up for what they believe is right.  On the other hand, their mother, Mrs. Bennett, isn't interested in education for her daughters; instead she wants her daughters to be the "model" of virtue so they would accepted and be a part in society.

In the Hmong culture, some families still follow James Fordyce's theory that the women are to take care of the family, children, and the domestic duties in the home.  While the men will take care of the world outside the home.  Women shouldn't have much opinions and should be meek, amiable, and know what the husband wants.  For a Hmong man to have such a wife is blessed and looked upon as fortunate and lucky.  I remember my mother telling me and teaching me the domestic duties of the home so when I get married, I will be a good daughter-in-law.  But my father, like Mr. Bennett, was always advising me to get a good education first.  My In-laws still follow Fordyce's theory, but my husband and our generation have become americanized and we do not follow this theory or our ancestors' way of thinking anymore.  It is hard for me, as a Hmong daughter-in-law, to be a good housewife, take care of my children, take care of my in-laws, the cooking, the cleaning, work forty hours a week, and get an education at the same time. In my in-laws eyes, I am not a good enough daughter-in-law for their son. 

I advise my brothers and sisters all the time, but mainly, my sisters, to get their education first before they even think about love.  Love which leads to marriage, and in time, to children.  "It is not easy to be a good daughter-in-law, take care of your husband's household, have small children to take care of while pregnant, and get an education at the same time," I tell my sisters, "Don't make the same mistakes I made, learn from my mistakes and do better than me!"  But sadly, I see my sisters making the same mistakes, they follow the path of love first.  I just hope they will wake up and realize that in this day and age, an education will be the more stable path to take first.