Bet Me, Porn & Body Image

Jenna Jameson, porn star

I'll try to keep this somewhat brief. :) I thought the discussion in class today was very interesting. The topic of porn does seem to be quite controversial. In some ways I think it can be a very healthy thing to enjoy pornography, either solo or with a partner. I think it does allow us to have a bit of sexual freedom and to live vicariously through someone else. On the other hand, some people have a genuine addiction to it that interferes with either starting or keeping real relationships. I think most of us in class would agree that it promotes an unrealistic body image in woman, usually. Most popular porn star women are loaded with silicone, collagen, have unnatural tans, long hair, french manicures and not an ounce of cellulite or stretch marks in sight. You could see why this, coupled with the other forms of women in the media and Min's own mother, might have made her feel so self-conscious.

The truth is, beauty comes in all shapes and sizes. Maybe I'm just extra talented but I think I can find something beautiful in every single woman I see. Whether it's the curve of her hips or the soft color of her skin or her eyes or her hair or her voice or her lips. I think men can have self confidence issues, don't get me wrong. But I think as a culture we tend to be harder on women. Just pick up any tabloid magazine that screams LOOK AT THIS CELEB'S FLABBY BUTT!!! I mean, ouch! The truth is, we, as females, need to look inside ourselves to gain self-confidence. And that is a lot harder than it might seem. I once went through a bad relationship and placed so much worth on my physical appearance because on the inside, I felt worthless. I was like the opposite of Min- the better she feels about herself, the better she dresses, the better she looks, etc. I was a shell. The shittier I felt on the inside, the prettier I looked on the outside. I think the hard part is balancing who we are with who we want to be and letting our outside reflect that. It's not important that we look exactly like x person or that we fit into our skinny jeans. What matters is that we FEEL sexy and beautiful.

This is Crystal Renn, a stunning (in my opinion) plus-sized model.

This is what she used to look like...

At 5'9'' she weighed 95 pounds.

Which picture does she look happier?

This is not an anti-skinny girl post. But it is an anti-hating our bodies-post. What matters is not our size, but our health and happiness. And we need to be true to ourselves. An overweight woman with a bad wardrobe, like Min in the beginning of the book, who hates on men and has a bitchy attitude isn't attractive, to me. It wouldn't matter if she was super duper skinny with big boobs, either. I don't care if a woman is skinny, tall, curvy, plus-sized, short or whatever as long as she is confident in herself and positive. Shine on, ladies. We are ALL beautiful and we can be sexy, enjoy romance novels and pleasure. And porn, too, if that floats your boat :)

Some Random Thoughts...

I think we had a great discussion today in class but if anything it has left me more unsure of how I feel about Bet Me. Let's start with the bad: I thought the book was just eh for the first several chapters. I found the descriptions tired, the dialogue not very authentic and I just couldn't care about any of the characters. And I stand by my opinion that I think some of the dialogue is just plain annoying, specifically when referencing other characters. "Your Calvin" "Your Minerva" "The Suit" "The Beast" "The Girl in the gray-checked suit" "The One" "This One" etc.... I'm also finding some of the novel repetitive with all of the times Elvis (varying forms) and chicken marsala are in there. Like, the actual words. It seems like those words are crammed in the novel more times than some of the characters. And, I have to clarify my statement today about finding it odd that they ate the Italian dish soooo many times. I really do understand- in my life I have favorite foods that I eat all the time. And I understand the characters like it. I just don't want to have to read about it so much. I guess it pulls me out of the story. Maybe I'm just weird, though... Now on to the good: The author does a nice job of developing character. I really didn't like Min in the beginning. I love how the use of food and her relationship with Cal is bringing out her softer yet more confident side. I actually like her now! I actually want to keep reading. I also think that Cruisie is great at setting. And, she can write a sexy scene without resorting to the over the top "throbbing manhood" type of language we mentioned today in class. So, for me this book is not hit or miss. It's hit AND miss. I like it but I dislike some parts of it. I don't know if I'll read it again. I guess it depends on how I feel at the end.