Thursday, May 5, 2011

Patience in love...

All to often we want to rush into love and marriage. There is some value to long engagements and long periods of dating before the engagement. There is the rare exception, when you just know and get married right away and live happily ever after. As a rule though I think that people should just enjoy each other and slowly build to marriage. If you both truly love each other and are meant to be together, then a little extra time to create a strong foundation for marriage is nothing in the grand scheme of life. I think sometimes people rush into the institution of marriage just to have the experience and feel that they are on some kind of time schedule to get married and don't really understand the commitment and long term repercussions of marriage.
I liked Macs' use of the word "try". She was committed to trying commitment with Carter. I feel that the engagement is the formal act of trying to be a married couple. First you move into together. Then you combine finances and possessions. Basically you start planning and making major life choices together. Buying that first couch may bring up some major relationship issues that are not present when living and acting apart. By having a long engagement you are giving yourselves time to adjust and compromise to all of the little things that seem like no big deal when still acting as individuals in a relationship.
In closing I feel that a little patience and willingness to slowly come together as a couple would greatly increase the happiness and contentment shared be each other.

3 comments:

  1. I do agree with you on taking it slow, and having a longer Engagement. People sometimes do tend to Rush into things, which typically leads to ending badly, or at least having a lot of complications. It truly depends on the couple. But I do think that a year and a half to a two year engagement is ideal.

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  2. I agree that the idea of "trying to try" is a good one, and definitely a step for Mac!

    However, I disagree with you slightly on the long engagement issue. To me, two people should work out the compromises and major life choices before making the decision to get engaged; getting engaged is a statement that all of those things have been discussed and evaluated, and you are certain that you want to share your life with this person. The wedding is simply then the culmination of that choice. I don't think that the engagement process would be nearly as much fun either if you were still figuring out whether you want to be together; on the other hand, an engagement can be quite the adventure with the partner you know you have already chosen!

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  3. Interesting points..thx...i agree that it should be worked out ahead of time..often this is not the case..hence my stance on the long engagement.

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