Wedding Memory

I did my blog post right before bed last night, and before I fell asleep I was thinking about this picture. We had an amazing photographer, and we have tons of beautiful, frame-able photos from the day that I totally love. But whenever I think of our wedding, this is the image that always pops into my head. Nothing special to look at, but to me it's just Katie and Terry, hanging out like we do all the time, and oh yea, it just happens to be our wedding day. I love it.

long hair dont care

OK so i know its late, but i have heard better late then never. Anywayssssss today in class we talked we talked about marriage, me myself want to get married someday and the stuff we talked about really got me thinking. its crazy how expensive weddings can be. while looking online i found quite a few random facts! for instance one said that tying a fertile hen to the bed of the bride and groom was good luck for fertility.. WIERD!!! of course this was in India so I'm not surprised because they wear jewels on their foreheads.. no offense, and i might actually try this when i get married because i want y wife to be fertile lol. ON a serious note i feel that the love between Mac and Carter is real and they should get married, FO SHO! the connection these two seem to have is like a spark to a flame, and this flame is never ending. i hope someday i find a spark with a woman like this :)

Weddings

Today in class we spoke about different aspects/statistics that concerned marriage and weddings. We discussed for the majority of the class period on the ideas of what the average American wedding consisted of since the main character and her close friends in our current novel, written by Nora Roberts, own and a Wedding party company. The whole idea of a big wedding sends me mixed messages both good and bad; both being to the extremes of the spectrum. It depends on which way I look it at it, if I am looking at it from a strictly personal small picture viewpoint; I actually would like to have a big wedding. Yet in the big picture of the world, it seems irrational to go to such lengths for a one day event, even if it is a milestone.

If I could plan (without my humanitarian persona striking up) the perfect wedding it would be organic yet still consistent of the glamorous materialistic aspects of the modern wedding. This somewhat bothers me, but at the same time I have already encountered in my own life a wedding that was small and did not end up being what it cracked up to be. At the time it was love and we felt that it did not matter if we made a big spectacle of the union. So, all we did was pick up our marriage licenses and scheduled a courthouse ceremony for 2 days later. Not only was it small and quick, but we did it on my birthday behind my mother’s back. My mother was extremely against us even dating, and we thought that going and getting hitched would be so romantic. To be honest I really do not recall any of the ceremony, and I just recall that we were literally standing as far away from each other as we possibly could. I also remember that the judge seemed rather judgmental and that afterwards we went and assisted his sister with her rummage sale. Needless to say we divorced two months later, and it was a complete failure in every aspect. Now, I am not saying that our marriage ended because of how we got married, but I will say that it does seem pointless, not that big of a deal, and less intimate. If I were to ever get married again, I would want more elements of the modern day wedding for a few reasons. One being that I think that the planning aspect creates an extra attachment and excitement into the future you and your mate have. Two, you get enjoy sharing this moment with friends and family. Three, the time it takes to plan the wedding allows for you to be made sure if you are making the correct decision.

On the other hand, if I were to look at this in a large frame and my own belief system, the whole corporate outtake of weddings turns me away from the idea. If the statistic for average cost of a wedding is true, $24,000, than I am really turned off. Not for my own personal fiscal reasons, but more so in the fact that there are so many poor and starving families out there. Also, it just seems now a day’s people are just trying to outdo everyone else they know, by having the biggest and most extravagant wedding of anybody. It can go to the point where the actual meaning behind your vows start to be hidden behind an egotistical materialistic need. Where the dress and the cake are more important than the person you are going to spend the rest of your life with. What people need to start doing is finding a nice medium instead of either selling out or sucking the fun out of it.

My Perfect Day

$30,000.00. That's roughly how much my wedding cost. To be honest, the number blows my mind, especially when I think of all the ways we cut corners, and all the things we didn't have. I never would have believed beforehand how quickly those numbers add up! However, our parents (mostly my husband's parents!) paid for everything, and without that I'm certain our wedding would have been very different. Quite simply, I didn't need a $30,000.00 wedding, with over 300 guests, and before the actual day, I was actually dreading it a bit.

However, my wedding day turned out to be my fairy tale day, and my fairy tale had nothing to do with flowers and steak dinners. I remember every minute of my wedding day as nothing but pure, unadulterated joy, and completely free of stress; all self-consciousness left me (by what I can only believe was an act of God!), and for that one day I knew in my soul that I was the most beautiful woman in the world. I'm sure there are plenty of moments, and small details, that have already left my memory completely, but the little moments that stick out in my mind are simple and fantastic: a private moment outside the ballroom before being announced with my brand-new husband, looking out over a sea of loved ones who were all there to celebrate with me, dancing my heart out with all my friends and family to every last single song, riding the glass elevator up to our hotel room at the end of the night, with a last look at the scene of the festivities. The first thing we did we did when we got to the room? We ate cake, carried up to our room on napkins, because I had been too excited to eat more than two bites of my dinner. I never wanted to take off my "princess" dress, and when I finally did, birdseed showered out of it that had been thrown at us earlier in the day. For me it was, quite literally, the perfect day. I've seen many a bride filled with stress and displeasure on her wedding day, and so I feel particularly blessed.

I've heard weddings described as "the happiest day of your life". It sounds nice in theory, but what about the next 50+ years? For me my perfect day was just that ~ one perfect day. I think that to have one perfect day in a lifetime is truly amazing in itself, and I'm grateful for the gift. But since then, I've certainly had many days filled with happiness. I like to think of that day as the day the rest of our happiness is built upon. A beautiful memory, but simply one step along our path. Every marriage has its ups and downs, of course, and we've already had plenty, but I look to the future for more happiness and joy. I like to believe that each happy day is simply leading to the next, and that my happiest day is forever still on its way.

Wedding Fever!!!

Even though I'm already married, this week I've had a bit of wedding fever. The exciting news of my sister-in-law's engagement, coupled with the book we're reading in class, as well as the "Royal Wedding" has made me reflect on my own wedding. I even tried on my wedding dress the other night for the first time in years!

Looking back, these last 5 years of marriage, I occasionally get small twinges of regret about certain things. Like, why did we spend so much on flowers when we could have gotten the same or better at a grocery store? And why did we have plated food when we both wanted pizza? The truth is the kind of wedding you want when you are 17 is going to be different than when you are 23 (the year I got married) or when you are 36. And it's impossible to guess the outcome without knowing all the variables that will come about. The kind of wedding you will have depends not only on your own tastes but on your income, your family, traditions, your partner's family and traditions, etc.

One thing I'm pleased with is we saved a lot of money in a way that was meaningful for us. My MIL made the cake (which she does professionally) and my uncle video-taped. I made the invitations from a box kit at Hobby Lobby. We made our favors (every candy bar was wrapped individually in vintage wrapping paper, and cds of our favorite music) and me/bridesmaids put together all the bouquets ourselves.

And I'm not only proud of all that, but the creativity placed in other areas. Like the loose theme- A Midsummer Nights Dream, the homemade cookies made by our mothers, the black and white photo boards of our childhoods and our lives, the poem that was read aloud by a friend during the ceremony- written in fact, by my father, or the dance routine my closest girlfriends and I performed, the fact that it rained so bloody hard we had to move the ceremony indoors in the middle of the dining room- and we were okay we that. We were happy and it didn't matter that everything wasn't perfect. Everything fell away as soon we my husband and I locked eyes.

Tying into this whole wedding thing, is the book we're reading. Vision in White is fun, so far. I like the characters (though I keep mixing up whether they are male or female because of all the gender-bending names!) and I think the business Vows is great. I love that it features four strong women working together to create a success and something individualized for each bride and groom. It just sounds fun to work at! I keep picturing the giant house and how beautiful each wedding must look. Maybe not as beautiful as mine but I may be biased ;)

<-------
me and my bridesmaids

chocolate cake....filled with nutella

YUM

And they lived happily ever after....at least most of the time :)

strong women.

This book is very Sex and the City. Four girls, all representing different strong aspects of strong powerful women. Mac is the artistic nice one who translates to the journalist Carrie. Emma is Sam because she is warm and empowers her sexuality and likes mens attention. Parker is Miranda, both strong hard working business women with a shield towards men. and Laural is Charlette, the sort of homemaker sweet type.
               This propbably makes no sense if you dont know Sex and the City. But I love the show and movies so i hooked to this book pretty quickly. I love the idea that they all keep so close and make eachother stronger and know eachother so well. I like that they don't rely on men for happiness and find it in themselves. These are the role models I look up to. Plus women get women more then I think all the men put together could.
              I like that Carter doesn't really know much about dating and kind of gives her the ropes in the relationship. This is much more realistic to modern relationships. In my personal opinion women have more control over what happens in the relationship, and the guy is usually ok with whatever that is. Conflict may occur but like most people say "women always win fights." I think the innocence of Carter's character is so cute. Compared to Cal's player status in Bet Me. And i think their relationship will grow into a cute one because they won't get bored of eachotehr... they seem to constantly be interesting or teaching eachother something new.

Wedding details

We talked about be weddings; big weddings, small weddings and the bare bones of a wedding.
We even talked about some traditions of other weddings.

I think a wedding isnt a wedding without the few things to make it significant, it shouldnt just be another day in your life like the rest. It doesnt need to be as big as the royal wedding, but my sister had a court house wedding. We all dressed up and they invited there family and close friends to the court house and the Judge read the vows and they had a photographer and a dinner and cake... and of course the rings. It was nothing expensive but it was memorable and stood out, it wasnt just an ordinary day it was special. It wasnt going to put them too far into debt but it was a wedding. I don't remember there being big gift basket but we had little bottles we got from walmart and filled with white wedding bell shaped mints and red jelly bellies, and for a label, my mom print off them on address labels off the computer. Nothing big, nothing too fancy but it was not just an ordinary day.
My wedding will not need to be big and special. I would want a dress, a ring and a dinner with family and friends, but I don't need a whole hall, or the deco and the load of flowers everywhere and the ribbons and bows. my aunt could prob take my pictures and my mom will help me with little goody bags and treats... Nothing big but something out of the ordinary of a normal day and something memorable.