I did my blog post right before bed last night, and before I fell asleep I was thinking about this picture. We had an amazing photographer, and we have tons of beautiful, frame-able photos from the day that I totally love. But whenever I think of our wedding, this is the image that always pops into my head. Nothing special to look at, but to me it's just Katie and Terry, hanging out like we do all the time, and oh yea, it just happens to be our wedding day. I love it.
Friday, April 29, 2011
Wedding Memory
I did my blog post right before bed last night, and before I fell asleep I was thinking about this picture. We had an amazing photographer, and we have tons of beautiful, frame-able photos from the day that I totally love. But whenever I think of our wedding, this is the image that always pops into my head. Nothing special to look at, but to me it's just Katie and Terry, hanging out like we do all the time, and oh yea, it just happens to be our wedding day. I love it.
Thursday, April 28, 2011
long hair dont care
OK so i know its late, but i have heard better late then never. Anywayssssss today in class we talked we talked about marriage, me myself want to get married someday and the stuff we talked about really got me thinking. its crazy how expensive weddings can be. while looking online i found quite a few random facts! for instance one said that tying a fertile hen to the bed of the bride and groom was good luck for fertility.. WIERD!!! of course this was in India so I'm not surprised because they wear jewels on their foreheads.. no offense, and i might actually try this when i get married because i want y wife to be fertile lol. ON a serious note i feel that the love between Mac and Carter is real and they should get married, FO SHO! the connection these two seem to have is like a spark to a flame, and this flame is never ending. i hope someday i find a spark with a woman like this :)
Weddings
Today in class we spoke about different aspects/statistics that concerned marriage and weddings. We discussed for the majority of the class period on the ideas of what the average American wedding consisted of since the main character and her close friends in our current novel, written by Nora Roberts, own and a Wedding party company. The whole idea of a big wedding sends me mixed messages both good and bad; both being to the extremes of the spectrum. It depends on which way I look it at it, if I am looking at it from a strictly personal small picture viewpoint; I actually would like to have a big wedding. Yet in the big picture of the world, it seems irrational to go to such lengths for a one day event, even if it is a milestone.
If I could plan (without my humanitarian persona striking up) the perfect wedding it would be organic yet still consistent of the glamorous materialistic aspects of the modern wedding. This somewhat bothers me, but at the same time I have already encountered in my own life a wedding that was small and did not end up being what it cracked up to be. At the time it was love and we felt that it did not matter if we made a big spectacle of the union. So, all we did was pick up our marriage licenses and scheduled a courthouse ceremony for 2 days later. Not only was it small and quick, but we did it on my birthday behind my mother’s back. My mother was extremely against us even dating, and we thought that going and getting hitched would be so romantic. To be honest I really do not recall any of the ceremony, and I just recall that we were literally standing as far away from each other as we possibly could. I also remember that the judge seemed rather judgmental and that afterwards we went and assisted his sister with her rummage sale. Needless to say we divorced two months later, and it was a complete failure in every aspect. Now, I am not saying that our marriage ended because of how we got married, but I will say that it does seem pointless, not that big of a deal, and less intimate. If I were to ever get married again, I would want more elements of the modern day wedding for a few reasons. One being that I think that the planning aspect creates an extra attachment and excitement into the future you and your mate have. Two, you get enjoy sharing this moment with friends and family. Three, the time it takes to plan the wedding allows for you to be made sure if you are making the correct decision.
On the other hand, if I were to look at this in a large frame and my own belief system, the whole corporate outtake of weddings turns me away from the idea. If the statistic for average cost of a wedding is true, $24,000, than I am really turned off. Not for my own personal fiscal reasons, but more so in the fact that there are so many poor and starving families out there. Also, it just seems now a day’s people are just trying to outdo everyone else they know, by having the biggest and most extravagant wedding of anybody. It can go to the point where the actual meaning behind your vows start to be hidden behind an egotistical materialistic need. Where the dress and the cake are more important than the person you are going to spend the rest of your life with. What people need to start doing is finding a nice medium instead of either selling out or sucking the fun out of it.
If I could plan (without my humanitarian persona striking up) the perfect wedding it would be organic yet still consistent of the glamorous materialistic aspects of the modern wedding. This somewhat bothers me, but at the same time I have already encountered in my own life a wedding that was small and did not end up being what it cracked up to be. At the time it was love and we felt that it did not matter if we made a big spectacle of the union. So, all we did was pick up our marriage licenses and scheduled a courthouse ceremony for 2 days later. Not only was it small and quick, but we did it on my birthday behind my mother’s back. My mother was extremely against us even dating, and we thought that going and getting hitched would be so romantic. To be honest I really do not recall any of the ceremony, and I just recall that we were literally standing as far away from each other as we possibly could. I also remember that the judge seemed rather judgmental and that afterwards we went and assisted his sister with her rummage sale. Needless to say we divorced two months later, and it was a complete failure in every aspect. Now, I am not saying that our marriage ended because of how we got married, but I will say that it does seem pointless, not that big of a deal, and less intimate. If I were to ever get married again, I would want more elements of the modern day wedding for a few reasons. One being that I think that the planning aspect creates an extra attachment and excitement into the future you and your mate have. Two, you get enjoy sharing this moment with friends and family. Three, the time it takes to plan the wedding allows for you to be made sure if you are making the correct decision.
On the other hand, if I were to look at this in a large frame and my own belief system, the whole corporate outtake of weddings turns me away from the idea. If the statistic for average cost of a wedding is true, $24,000, than I am really turned off. Not for my own personal fiscal reasons, but more so in the fact that there are so many poor and starving families out there. Also, it just seems now a day’s people are just trying to outdo everyone else they know, by having the biggest and most extravagant wedding of anybody. It can go to the point where the actual meaning behind your vows start to be hidden behind an egotistical materialistic need. Where the dress and the cake are more important than the person you are going to spend the rest of your life with. What people need to start doing is finding a nice medium instead of either selling out or sucking the fun out of it.
My Perfect Day
$30,000.00. That's roughly how much my wedding cost. To be honest, the number blows my mind, especially when I think of all the ways we cut corners, and all the things we didn't have. I never would have believed beforehand how quickly those numbers add up! However, our parents (mostly my husband's parents!) paid for everything, and without that I'm certain our wedding would have been very different. Quite simply, I didn't need a $30,000.00 wedding, with over 300 guests, and before the actual day, I was actually dreading it a bit.
However, my wedding day turned out to be my fairy tale day, and my fairy tale had nothing to do with flowers and steak dinners. I remember every minute of my wedding day as nothing but pure, unadulterated joy, and completely free of stress; all self-consciousness left me (by what I can only believe was an act of God!), and for that one day I knew in my soul that I was the most beautiful woman in the world. I'm sure there are plenty of moments, and small details, that have already left my memory completely, but the little moments that stick out in my mind are simple and fantastic: a private moment outside the ballroom before being announced with my brand-new husband, looking out over a sea of loved ones who were all there to celebrate with me, dancing my heart out with all my friends and family to every last single song, riding the glass elevator up to our hotel room at the end of the night, with a last look at the scene of the festivities. The first thing we did we did when we got to the room? We ate cake, carried up to our room on napkins, because I had been too excited to eat more than two bites of my dinner. I never wanted to take off my "princess" dress, and when I finally did, birdseed showered out of it that had been thrown at us earlier in the day. For me it was, quite literally, the perfect day. I've seen many a bride filled with stress and displeasure on her wedding day, and so I feel particularly blessed.
I've heard weddings described as "the happiest day of your life". It sounds nice in theory, but what about the next 50+ years? For me my perfect day was just that ~ one perfect day. I think that to have one perfect day in a lifetime is truly amazing in itself, and I'm grateful for the gift. But since then, I've certainly had many days filled with happiness. I like to think of that day as the day the rest of our happiness is built upon. A beautiful memory, but simply one step along our path. Every marriage has its ups and downs, of course, and we've already had plenty, but I look to the future for more happiness and joy. I like to believe that each happy day is simply leading to the next, and that my happiest day is forever still on its way.
Wedding Fever!!!
Even though I'm already married, this week I've had a bit of wedding fever. The exciting news of my sister-in-law's engagement, coupled with the book we're reading in class, as well as the "Royal Wedding" has made me reflect on my own wedding. I even tried on my wedding dress the other night for the first time in years!
chocolate cake....filled with nutella
And they lived happily ever after....at least most of the time :)
Looking back, these last 5 years of marriage, I occasionally get small twinges of regret about certain things. Like, why did we spend so much on flowers when we could have gotten the same or better at a grocery store? And why did we have plated food when we both wanted pizza? The truth is the kind of wedding you want when you are 17 is going to be different than when you are 23 (the year I got married) or when you are 36. And it's impossible to guess the outcome without knowing all the variables that will come about. The kind of wedding you will have depends not only on your own tastes but on your income, your family, traditions, your partner's family and traditions, etc.
One thing I'm pleased with is we saved a lot of money in a way that was meaningful for us. My MIL made the cake (which she does professionally) and my uncle video-taped. I made the invitations from a box kit at Hobby Lobby. We made our favors (every candy bar was wrapped individually in vintage wrapping paper, and cds of our favorite music) and me/bridesmaids put together all the bouquets ourselves.
And I'm not only proud of all that, but the creativity placed in other areas. Like the loose theme- A Midsummer Nights Dream, the homemade cookies made by our mothers, the black and white photo boards of our childhoods and our lives, the poem that was read aloud by a friend during the ceremony- written in fact, by my father, or the dance routine my closest girlfriends and I performed, the fact that it rained so bloody hard we had to move the ceremony indoors in the middle of the dining room- and we were okay we that. We were happy and it didn't matter that everything wasn't perfect. Everything fell away as soon we my husband and I locked eyes.
Tying into this whole wedding thing, is the book we're reading. Vision in White is fun, so far. I like the characters (though I keep mixing up whether they are male or female because of all the gender-bending names!) and I think the business Vows is great. I love that it features four strong women working together to create a success and something individualized for each bride and groom. It just sounds fun to work at! I keep picturing the giant house and how beautiful each wedding must look. 
Maybe not as beautiful as mine but I may be biased ;)
<-------
me and my bridesmaids
Maybe not as beautiful as mine but I may be biased ;)<-------
me and my bridesmaids
chocolate cake....filled with nutella
YUM
And they lived happily ever after....at least most of the time :)
strong women.
This book is very Sex and the City. Four girls, all representing different strong aspects of strong powerful women. Mac is the artistic nice one who translates to the journalist Carrie. Emma is Sam because she is warm and empowers her sexuality and likes mens attention. Parker is Miranda, both strong hard working business women with a shield towards men. and Laural is Charlette, the sort of homemaker sweet type.
This propbably makes no sense if you dont know Sex and the City. But I love the show and movies so i hooked to this book pretty quickly. I love the idea that they all keep so close and make eachother stronger and know eachother so well. I like that they don't rely on men for happiness and find it in themselves. These are the role models I look up to. Plus women get women more then I think all the men put together could.
I like that Carter doesn't really know much about dating and kind of gives her the ropes in the relationship. This is much more realistic to modern relationships. In my personal opinion women have more control over what happens in the relationship, and the guy is usually ok with whatever that is. Conflict may occur but like most people say "women always win fights." I think the innocence of Carter's character is so cute. Compared to Cal's player status in Bet Me. And i think their relationship will grow into a cute one because they won't get bored of eachotehr... they seem to constantly be interesting or teaching eachother something new.
This propbably makes no sense if you dont know Sex and the City. But I love the show and movies so i hooked to this book pretty quickly. I love the idea that they all keep so close and make eachother stronger and know eachother so well. I like that they don't rely on men for happiness and find it in themselves. These are the role models I look up to. Plus women get women more then I think all the men put together could.
I like that Carter doesn't really know much about dating and kind of gives her the ropes in the relationship. This is much more realistic to modern relationships. In my personal opinion women have more control over what happens in the relationship, and the guy is usually ok with whatever that is. Conflict may occur but like most people say "women always win fights." I think the innocence of Carter's character is so cute. Compared to Cal's player status in Bet Me. And i think their relationship will grow into a cute one because they won't get bored of eachotehr... they seem to constantly be interesting or teaching eachother something new.
Wedding details
We talked about be weddings; big weddings, small weddings and the bare bones of a wedding.
We even talked about some traditions of other weddings.
I think a wedding isnt a wedding without the few things to make it significant, it shouldnt just be another day in your life like the rest. It doesnt need to be as big as the royal wedding, but my sister had a court house wedding. We all dressed up and they invited there family and close friends to the court house and the Judge read the vows and they had a photographer and a dinner and cake... and of course the rings. It was nothing expensive but it was memorable and stood out, it wasnt just an ordinary day it was special. It wasnt going to put them too far into debt but it was a wedding. I don't remember there being big gift basket but we had little bottles we got from walmart and filled with white wedding bell shaped mints and red jelly bellies, and for a label, my mom print off them on address labels off the computer. Nothing big, nothing too fancy but it was not just an ordinary day.
My wedding will not need to be big and special. I would want a dress, a ring and a dinner with family and friends, but I don't need a whole hall, or the deco and the load of flowers everywhere and the ribbons and bows. my aunt could prob take my pictures and my mom will help me with little goody bags and treats... Nothing big but something out of the ordinary of a normal day and something memorable.
We even talked about some traditions of other weddings.
I think a wedding isnt a wedding without the few things to make it significant, it shouldnt just be another day in your life like the rest. It doesnt need to be as big as the royal wedding, but my sister had a court house wedding. We all dressed up and they invited there family and close friends to the court house and the Judge read the vows and they had a photographer and a dinner and cake... and of course the rings. It was nothing expensive but it was memorable and stood out, it wasnt just an ordinary day it was special. It wasnt going to put them too far into debt but it was a wedding. I don't remember there being big gift basket but we had little bottles we got from walmart and filled with white wedding bell shaped mints and red jelly bellies, and for a label, my mom print off them on address labels off the computer. Nothing big, nothing too fancy but it was not just an ordinary day.
My wedding will not need to be big and special. I would want a dress, a ring and a dinner with family and friends, but I don't need a whole hall, or the deco and the load of flowers everywhere and the ribbons and bows. my aunt could prob take my pictures and my mom will help me with little goody bags and treats... Nothing big but something out of the ordinary of a normal day and something memorable.
Vision In White
Great Book. I started reading this book two Friday's ago and then finished it on Monday. I really like how the story seems so real because of the tragedy of the parents dying and they all have their own family background. The four girls grew up together and the flashbacks to the past just make it that much more real. All the girls are different but yet they all get along very well. Each of their personalities are different but yet they can run a business together very smoothly. That I don't know if it is very realistic because most business teachers and people who own their own business will say not to go into business with a fri end. Some people might think it is creepy that Carter has had a crush on Mac for so long but I think it is really romantic. It makes me happy to see that Carter finally gets what he wants even though it didn't happen in high school. People are so worried about social status, drama, and all kinds of other stuff in high school that sometimes we don't notice everyone. While reading this first book I tried guessing who the other girls would end up with because I saw that their were four. I am currently reading the fourth one because my Grandma gave me the rest of the books. The only one that I guessed right was that Parker and Mal end up getting together.
Love and Beauty
This book is definitely one of my favorites we got to read in class. The book being more realistic and something I can more relate to is what ties me into the book. The fact that Mac and Carter randomly meet again many years after high school, to me, is a great start to a love story. Carters character seem to be so innocent in the book witch makes it interesting to read because I never know exactly what he might say or do.
Another aspect that I like about the book is not just the love story forming between Mac and Carter, but the love of friendship between Mac and her best girlfriends. Being able to tolerate each other by living close to one another plus working with each other everyday is not always easy. Their close relationship shows how dedicated they all are to their jobs and to each other as a family.
Besides my love for the characters relationships with in to book, I also have a love for Mac and her photography. They way the book describes her capturing the moments of couples in love and happiness. Taking a pregnant lady and making her see herself has a beautiful human being is amazing. Capturing the beauty of the winter wonderland and the cardinal I believe takes great skill and a good eye to accomplish! Over all, I just love this book and want to continue reading other book by Nora Roberts as well.
Weddings
In class today we talked mainly about weddings and everything that goes into one: the people, the decorations, the food. The cost. It's so crazy to think that something so seemingly basic could - on average - cost $24,000. And if it's the average, that means that there are weddings that cost more than that! Probably significantly more. It's just insane to think that people spend that much on one day when there are so many better things to spend that money on, and there are so many people who could really use that money around the world.
Of course, if you add up all the costs and everything you need to do, it makes sense that it would cost that much. Like when we stripped down what a wedding basically needs, the cost was so much more reasonable, but if it were me, I would want a bit more of a celebration. I'm not saying that I want to have a $30,000 wedding with 300 guests - I don't even think I know that many people - in a 5 star hotel. I just want to be able to celebrate one of the biggest days of my life. Like, just a small ceremony in my backyard with some friends and close family - as in people I know, because most of my family I don't know, and that's just awkward - would be great. There are tons of ways to cut corners on costs, too. I don't know what all of them are, but for example, you can make your own invitations, make your own cake, do your own decorations, etc. I don't think there's anything wrong with cutting corners to save money. That way you can still have money to start your lives together without having to pay the bills for 4 years after, and still have what I think would be a great wedding.
Of course, if you add up all the costs and everything you need to do, it makes sense that it would cost that much. Like when we stripped down what a wedding basically needs, the cost was so much more reasonable, but if it were me, I would want a bit more of a celebration. I'm not saying that I want to have a $30,000 wedding with 300 guests - I don't even think I know that many people - in a 5 star hotel. I just want to be able to celebrate one of the biggest days of my life. Like, just a small ceremony in my backyard with some friends and close family - as in people I know, because most of my family I don't know, and that's just awkward - would be great. There are tons of ways to cut corners on costs, too. I don't know what all of them are, but for example, you can make your own invitations, make your own cake, do your own decorations, etc. I don't think there's anything wrong with cutting corners to save money. That way you can still have money to start your lives together without having to pay the bills for 4 years after, and still have what I think would be a great wedding.
Weddings...
One class ago we talked about books, and I think books can definitely make a difference in a persons life. There are still books from my childhood, that I read whenever I need a breather. Like A Little Princess and Chrysanthemum, I can still just read them and remember how I felt when I was little when I read them then. Books can change people in many ways, so people should always read!!
Weddings are a HUGE part of most cultures. People usually think about getting married at least some point in there lives. I mean as a kid, I never fantasized as much as the girls in the book, or play-acted it. But I have thought about how I wanted some things, like how I want to get married in Hawaii (even though sadly it's a cliche kind of place-But oh well I love it there!!)
The price of 24k, seems like a lot to me for an average wedding, but once you think about how much some people actually do for their weddings it's probably not anywhere close to the real price. I don't think I would ever want to spend so much that I am in debt because it seems like just too much. I would want to have things so that my fiance and myself were happy and would remember the day forever. Also I think it has to do with the wanting to be a princess for a day. I know that, I am going to want to be treated like a princess and look like a princess for a day. But I know that some people do go overboard and spend millions, and that's just too much.
I also think that these days, the parents definitely don't pay for everything. My parents wouldn't pay for everything. I mean my mom might help a little if she could but I know my dad wouldn't. Lastly I wanted to talk about some other wedding traditions. In Middle Eastern cultures and other cultures, it's kind of like the bride's family has to bribe the groom and his family to "take" the bride. I think that's so strange and rather degrading to the women. Another thing is how my dad's family does weddings. Their wedding rituals can last weeks, and can be pretty pricey, but it's not the same as American weddings where the money is spent on kind of frivolous things. For their weddings it's based on traditions that have been around for years, while American weddings being so expensive has gradually increased over time with the new expensive things people want. I can't image how much my cousin's wedding is going to be with her doing an American wedding and a traditional Pakistan wedding! It's going to be way too expensive but pretty amazing!
love this book
I don't even know why, but I really like this book. I like the fact that the story goes between both Mac and Carter, so I know what they are both thinking about each other for all the situations that go on. It's so cute how Mac doesn't understand what it is about him that has her falling for him like she is. She finds everything about him so attractive and I wish should would talk more about what it is about HIM that she likes so much, the things that go beyond looks. I mean, they both love their jobs and just look like when they are working, that is where they belong.
At the beginning of the book, when Mac discovers she loves photography there was a quote in there that stood out to me, and still does, that I just love, "Maybe happy ever after was bull, but she knew she wanted to take more pictures of moments that were happy. Because then they were ever after". I adore that quote, I'm sure I will always remember it because it has so much meaning and its just so true about photography, I'm not into photography or anything myself, but it that quote just helps me understand her love for it.
Bet Me turned out to be a really good book and I thought that after reading that one, Vision in White would bore me, but I'm happy to say that's not the case. I'm hoping that Mac gets to go through the whole Wedding planning for her own wedding before the book ends. If it ends without her getting married I'll be very disappointed.
At the beginning of the book, when Mac discovers she loves photography there was a quote in there that stood out to me, and still does, that I just love, "Maybe happy ever after was bull, but she knew she wanted to take more pictures of moments that were happy. Because then they were ever after". I adore that quote, I'm sure I will always remember it because it has so much meaning and its just so true about photography, I'm not into photography or anything myself, but it that quote just helps me understand her love for it.
Bet Me turned out to be a really good book and I thought that after reading that one, Vision in White would bore me, but I'm happy to say that's not the case. I'm hoping that Mac gets to go through the whole Wedding planning for her own wedding before the book ends. If it ends without her getting married I'll be very disappointed.
Picture Perfect Vision
A year ago, if you would have told me that I would someday enjoy a book by Nora Roberts, I would've laughed hysterically. I used to have an image in my head that her books were awful cookie-cutter versions of the same story, just with different names and places. I never would have picked one up--ever. I have to say, though, I am thoroughly pleased with this book.
The characters are written fabulously: they each have their own unique traits and backgrounds that add to the overall story. As with "Bet Me," I feel like I could actually meet the people in this book--like I could have an actual conversation with them. For example, Mac's personality is so vivid that you don't have to guess how she might be feeling or how you would feel in that situation. There was no second guessing.
Another aspect of the novel that I love is the prologue, and that's saying something because I usually skip it after the first few pages. However, I think it really eased the reader into Mac's personality without just being thrust into it. Those first few pages also gave loads of insight on the other three friends, too. Again, instead of tossing the girls in there, the reader is allowed some background and illustration of all of their personalities.
I have to say, Nora Roberts, you certainly surprised me. I never thought I would ever actually buy a book of yours and now I have to buy three more....What, did you think I was just going to read one?!
The characters are written fabulously: they each have their own unique traits and backgrounds that add to the overall story. As with "Bet Me," I feel like I could actually meet the people in this book--like I could have an actual conversation with them. For example, Mac's personality is so vivid that you don't have to guess how she might be feeling or how you would feel in that situation. There was no second guessing.
Another aspect of the novel that I love is the prologue, and that's saying something because I usually skip it after the first few pages. However, I think it really eased the reader into Mac's personality without just being thrust into it. Those first few pages also gave loads of insight on the other three friends, too. Again, instead of tossing the girls in there, the reader is allowed some background and illustration of all of their personalities.
I have to say, Nora Roberts, you certainly surprised me. I never thought I would ever actually buy a book of yours and now I have to buy three more....What, did you think I was just going to read one?!
Ahhh.. it's a fairy tale!
Ever since I can remember I've always had that "story book" wedding somewhere in the back of my mind. I know I'm probably not the only one! As a little girl I would fantasize about what my dress would look like, play dress up kinda like they did in Nora Roberts book, and even draw out what my wedding might look like. As a child I never really though about how much weddings cost but now I do and I have a completely different perspective on weddings. I think some of those extravagant weddings are a little ridiculous. Do people really have to spend that HUGE amount of money for just one day?
The big story in the news lately is William and Kate's royal wedding. I'm excited to see what interesting things they end up doing for it!
Something else that I thought was really cute was a fact today in class, the one about the Egyptians and how they put the wedding ring on the third finger on the left hand because they thought that the vein in that finger went straight to the heart. This little tradition has followed through time and is still prevalent today. I wonder if William and Kate will start a new tradition for other couples/ brides/ grooms.
The big story in the news lately is William and Kate's royal wedding. I'm excited to see what interesting things they end up doing for it!
Something else that I thought was really cute was a fact today in class, the one about the Egyptians and how they put the wedding ring on the third finger on the left hand because they thought that the vein in that finger went straight to the heart. This little tradition has followed through time and is still prevalent today. I wonder if William and Kate will start a new tradition for other couples/ brides/ grooms.
Vision in White
I really enjoy this book. I personally believe that Mac and Carter are soul mates, simply because they seem to be completely opposite. Mac is spontaneous..and lives off of "moments" where as Carter is more dorky, and is a more awkward/nervous person.
I thought it was cute how Carter tells Mac that he had a crush on her in highschool, and just makes things extremely awkward for himself and Mac likes how he is. She tries to get her mind off of him by going clubbing in New York, but that doesn't work either. They have natural chemestry, and seem to just.."click"together.
Another thing that I enjoy about the book is how four childhood friends start a wedding business together, and all live together on the property where their business is located, and are extremely successful doing so.
What is really cool is how in the prologue, that Roberts uses the moment in where Mac takes a picture of her best friends, doing another pretend wedding, and that turns out to be the moment where Mac realizes that being behind the camera is where she truly belongs.
That moment makes me think that it is foreshadowing for when Mac gets married, so then she's going to be the center of attention, the main focus in the camera, instead of the one doing the work behind it.
This book is written maturely, has cute and dorky moments which creates a nice, light humor that a lot of the other books we have previously read this semester seem to lack.
I'm excited to finish this novel, and maybe continue onto the rest of the books in the quartet.
I thought it was cute how Carter tells Mac that he had a crush on her in highschool, and just makes things extremely awkward for himself and Mac likes how he is. She tries to get her mind off of him by going clubbing in New York, but that doesn't work either. They have natural chemestry, and seem to just.."click"together.
Another thing that I enjoy about the book is how four childhood friends start a wedding business together, and all live together on the property where their business is located, and are extremely successful doing so.
What is really cool is how in the prologue, that Roberts uses the moment in where Mac takes a picture of her best friends, doing another pretend wedding, and that turns out to be the moment where Mac realizes that being behind the camera is where she truly belongs.
That moment makes me think that it is foreshadowing for when Mac gets married, so then she's going to be the center of attention, the main focus in the camera, instead of the one doing the work behind it.
This book is written maturely, has cute and dorky moments which creates a nice, light humor that a lot of the other books we have previously read this semester seem to lack.
I'm excited to finish this novel, and maybe continue onto the rest of the books in the quartet.
Marriage
The class discussion we held today about the wedding industry was interesting. Since reading this book it was something I was already giving a lot of thought. I was surprised when I discovered the average cost of weddings being around $24,000. I had no idea a wedding could cost that much, I knew they were expensive but I didn't realize the average cost could be so high. I think a lot of people lose sight of the actual value of marriage in their desire just for a wedding. Seems to me, the smarter choice would be to have a simpler, cost efficient wedding and put all major funds towards a house. I can understand the desire for an extravagant wedding but rationally, I don't think spending that much money is a smart decision. This of course, would mostly only apply to the middle class. Obviously, those with wealth could easily afford to splurge that cost or more on a wedding, which is fine, they are financially able to do so. Just the idea of spending more money on a wedding than I make annually, just shocks me. But I have never been married nor do I desire to get married for quite some time, so perhaps I find it harder to understand a couple's strong feelings about this.
In relation to the novel, it is clear that the wedding industry is a big business in America. It is easy to see how much money these businesses make off of weddings. If the annual cost of a wedding is around $24,000-imagine how much these companies are thriving off that expense. In the book, it is easy to see that the women in this business are well off financially. Especially in the case of Mackenzie borrowing her mother $3,000! It shows how successful these women have become with their separate careers, molding them all together to create this business. I think this is a great example of strong female success. These women created this business together and it seems to be their main priority in their lives. I like the feeling of family between the girls, it reminds me of shows like Sex and the City and similar conversations we've held in class. So far, I like this book much better than Bet Me. I find the characters inspiring, engaging and strong willed. I absolutely love the character Carter, he might not have the same appeal Healthcliff had, but he is wonderful in his own dorky way. Dorks are generally sexier than the testaorone fueled macho man, in my general opinion.
In relation to the novel, it is clear that the wedding industry is a big business in America. It is easy to see how much money these businesses make off of weddings. If the annual cost of a wedding is around $24,000-imagine how much these companies are thriving off that expense. In the book, it is easy to see that the women in this business are well off financially. Especially in the case of Mackenzie borrowing her mother $3,000! It shows how successful these women have become with their separate careers, molding them all together to create this business. I think this is a great example of strong female success. These women created this business together and it seems to be their main priority in their lives. I like the feeling of family between the girls, it reminds me of shows like Sex and the City and similar conversations we've held in class. So far, I like this book much better than Bet Me. I find the characters inspiring, engaging and strong willed. I absolutely love the character Carter, he might not have the same appeal Healthcliff had, but he is wonderful in his own dorky way. Dorks are generally sexier than the testaorone fueled macho man, in my general opinion.
the perfect wedding
I really enjoyed our discussion that we had in class today about the typical American wedding. I think many women do want that fairy tale day to themselves with beautiful hair, make-up, and a fluffy dress. There isn't many days where a woman can pretend that she is a princess, however I don't think that people should have a wedding just to be a princess for a day. Marriage is a very serious commitment, to me anyway, and I really think that most people make it a special day because they want to remember it for the rest of their lives with the person that they love the most. When my boyfriend and I just talk about what we would want to do for a wedding, we are always compromising certain things. I don't mind sharing that day with him because I don't look at it as being just my day. If it was up to my boyfriend we would be getting married on his 30ft fishing boat in a camouflage dress, and then going to Alaska to hunt for our honeymoon. I told him I would get married on his boat if we can go to Jamaica for our honeymoon. I'm willing to change my whole dream wedding to make him happy also. Marriage is bringing two lives together, and that means taking in the good with the bad....well not so bad but compromising.
The Magical Moment of the Bride and her Dress
In the first chapter when Mac walks in on Allison standing in front of her dress in that moment of is this real, am I really closing on part of my life and starting a new chapter? That is a very good question and though it creates new ideas and wonders and makes you ask so many questions. As I read that I could not help but realize that many brides go through that moment when they are alone with their dress and left to their own thoughts and reflections.
That is the moment when your life changes your go from being a single person, coming and going as you please. Making decisions, solo decisions on which paths to take in life because it is your life you as the individual. Then the day comes that is to be the best day of your life your wedding day the day you go from single to a couple where every decision you make you make as a team because it no longer just effects you it effects you both. You do things as a team together. There is no more how will this change my life it’s how will it change us or effect us as a whole?
I always thought of that moment as the last change you have to change your mind or it’s the first reminder of how much you love the other person and why you want to spend the rest of your life with them. It reinforces that feeling and knowledge that you cannot see yourself spending the rest of your life without that person. That is one of the most magical moments of the wedding day and the fact that Nora Roberts ever so slightly through it in to the first chapter impressed me. The fact that it is such a big moment and she realized it and knew to add that to the story.
That is the moment when your life changes your go from being a single person, coming and going as you please. Making decisions, solo decisions on which paths to take in life because it is your life you as the individual. Then the day comes that is to be the best day of your life your wedding day the day you go from single to a couple where every decision you make you make as a team because it no longer just effects you it effects you both. You do things as a team together. There is no more how will this change my life it’s how will it change us or effect us as a whole?
I always thought of that moment as the last change you have to change your mind or it’s the first reminder of how much you love the other person and why you want to spend the rest of your life with them. It reinforces that feeling and knowledge that you cannot see yourself spending the rest of your life without that person. That is one of the most magical moments of the wedding day and the fact that Nora Roberts ever so slightly through it in to the first chapter impressed me. The fact that it is such a big moment and she realized it and knew to add that to the story.
The "M" word!
The word marriage seems to carry the most weight and expectation of any other word used in American culture. Couple marriage with the religous undertones and fairy tale fantasies, and you have a recipe for disaster. Many people feel that they have to have the big and expensive wedding because that is what their families, friends, and societies expect. Instead of celebrating a private moment between two people, they fall for the traps of societal pressures. After the time and cost is calculated to create the perfect experience, do the couples involved actually achieve a greater sense of commitment and a happier beginning to the rest of their lives?
I would argue that for that one day they do experience those things. However once the honeymoon is over and the realities of debts and time invested in the one perfect day sets in, the couple will experience unnecessary stress from living up to the expectations set by others. This does not seem to be the healthiest, productive, or the most full filling start to a happy marriage.
I am sure that many will find my opinion negative and anti marriage. I happen to be pro marriage, finding the right person at the right time and place has proven difficult, but I still dream. What I am opposed to is the pressures of the perfect wedding and the debt associated with it.
My perfect wedding involves a tropical location with a sunset backdrop, me and my new wife and a couple weeks of marital bliss exploring and enjoying paradise together. No external worries or pressures. Just us. That is the fairytale for me. Reality will set in at some point but for those moments there is the perfect reality.
I will conclude that whatever two people in love decide is the perfect day for themselves, then they have their fairytale. Some may choose the debt and ceremony. others may choose the Vegas wedding. As long as they are happy in their decision and it is what both of them have come to agree on and pursue together then they get their fairy tale day.....and live happily ever after.
Friday, April 22, 2011
Romance Novels..
I went into this class feeling that I would enjoy the class, but the romance Novels, not so much. Fortunately, I think I may now be one of the statistics; slowly this genre became my favorite, especially the last three novels. Bet Me is currently my favorite novel and I plan on reading/enjoying many more of Jennifer Cruise’s amazing novels. I originally expected that the novels we would read would be “smut” novels and be written towards the modern housewife and their sexual fantasies. Instead, we read about women empowering themselves and getting it all. Not only are these women (in this novel particularly) strong and hard workers, they find their true love and have their “happily ever after”.
Bet Me was incredibly inspiring for me in numerous aspects. I am a lot like Minerva in many ways, I am extremely insecure about my weight, am strong willed/determined, hard working, obsessed with a dead musician (Kurt Cobain), and a “hard ass” to men. Since, the book was written in a realistic aspect, it allows a reader with these qualities to feel that they can gain it all. That a “Prince” will corrupt their stability and blow them away, an amazing man that will look past her insecurities and “bitchy” behavior. A handsome and intelligent man that will love her for who she really is---good and bad.
I am looking forward to the next novel we are going to read, in hopes this new trend will continue. Thank you for allowing the modern feminist the chance to experience and actually enjoy the “Romance” genre for what it can be; feminist women who can still find a place for love in their hectic lives. Also, our discussions and this summer plan on reading more of Jennifer Cruise’s awesome novels!
Bet Me was incredibly inspiring for me in numerous aspects. I am a lot like Minerva in many ways, I am extremely insecure about my weight, am strong willed/determined, hard working, obsessed with a dead musician (Kurt Cobain), and a “hard ass” to men. Since, the book was written in a realistic aspect, it allows a reader with these qualities to feel that they can gain it all. That a “Prince” will corrupt their stability and blow them away, an amazing man that will look past her insecurities and “bitchy” behavior. A handsome and intelligent man that will love her for who she really is---good and bad.
I am looking forward to the next novel we are going to read, in hopes this new trend will continue. Thank you for allowing the modern feminist the chance to experience and actually enjoy the “Romance” genre for what it can be; feminist women who can still find a place for love in their hectic lives. Also, our discussions and this summer plan on reading more of Jennifer Cruise’s awesome novels!
bitter cynthia
I wanted to just say something about my favorite part of the book Bet Me, which is where Cynthia and David have an argument about Cal and Min being together. I find it funny that Cynthia is so jealous of Min and she is obviously frustrated. She has such a high self-esteem and she wanted to marry Cal after dating for a while but he left her. The fact that he fell for a woman less attractive then she is seems crazy to her. She acts like she can get any man she wants and goes on saying she's this great catch that losing a man like Cal is frustrating. David, in this argument, tells her off and just points out that Cynthia, this "perfect" woman, loses Cal to the woman he "loved" and they argue about not getting any and it is this big deal. When it shouldn't matter as much as they act it does. I think that argument goes well with what we talked about in class today as well. David and Cynthia are sexually frustrated and I found it really funny that David left Min because he wasn't getting laid... and he is without Min now still doesn't get any like he'd hope.
Porno or Not?
Where to start? When I read romance books that have sex scenes in them, most times the scenes are somewhat brief and you get the general idea of what is going on. There have been a few books I have read where there was more steamy scenes but yet I don't consider the books to be pornographic. There is a huge difference in what I consider to be porn and what I consider to be artistic and something that fits into the plot of the story. In most books I have personally read that contained sex/love scenes, the sex wasn't something that was just thrown into the story to add something to it. I think that is the case with pornographic books and movies. The sex is thrown in the plot and when it happens it doesn't always fit. What I believe romance books are generally for is entertainment, something to take you away from the real world, something you can enjoy wherever you are. This can be said about most books people read. However, with porno movies/books, I think most people have other things in mind when watching or reading them. I don't know many people that would openly read or watch a movie that is pornographic in public. My opinion on Bet Me is that it is like many other books I have read in the sense that I don't believe it to be pornographic in any way. But just as I have been reading in other blog posts, everyone has their own definition of what is considered porn and what is not. Does this mean that Bet Me is pornographic? To me no, but to someone else it could be. It all depends on how someone was raised and what they believe.
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Love With Style
For myself as a romance-a-holic, I love steamy novels. I love reading about how the hero kisses, touches, and later on, makes love to the heroine and of course, possibly get pregnant. Of course, in real life, the heroine is probably considered by the community mothers as a naughty girl doing naughty things that's why she got pregnant in the first place. I don't think that the steamy descriptions in Harlequin, Silhouette, and Zebra Historical Romances are at all pornographic. I personally think that it's a mature, healthy, real-life situation that's being described. What's there to be shy about, right? This is how life is. These are the things that happen in real life. Is it not? Some people are just a bit modest or shy about what goes on behind closed doors. That's how some of us are brought up by our parents. "Don't kiss and tell." I am one of them. ;o) But that doesn't matter. What matters is that these types of books gives the reader a fantasy that they could read about and enjoy. I also think that there's a difference between reading about a love story involving steps to love including kissing, touching and making love compared to watching plain porn movies where the actors and actresses just jump right into the scene of having sex and when sex is done, it all ends. I don't want to be sexist, but this just sounds so much like a man's smaller head thinking, going straight for sex and that's it. Too harsh like the world sometimes. With reading a romance book, it tells a story of love between a man and a woman. How they first met, courtship and the steps that leads to them falling for each other and showing each other their love. That's how it should be with style.
Is Bet Me Pornographic?
In class we talked about whether or not romance novels were really just pornography for women. The reasons behind this debate were because some of it is written rather explicitly and it's pretty much impossible to draw the line between porn and a love scene. We decided that it depended on the intent of the author or artist or director (etc.), and on the reaction of the viewer. We also thought it depended on the sort of language used in the movie, book, magazine (etc.). If the language is more vulgar, the thing in question is probably pornographic. However, I also think it has something to do with the way the content is showed to the viewer. For example, if the sex in it is more blunt and, well, obvious, kind of, it's more likely to be pornographic.
Based on these points, I really don't think that the sex scene in Bet Me was pornographic at all. I think it was just a way to finally express all the sexual tension between Cal and Min and, while I think the book would have worked without that scene, I think it worked a whole lot better with that scene. There just didn't seem to be anything pornographic about it. It didn't have any of the elements we discussed.
We also talked about the epilogue that Jennifer Crusie put into the book. The general thought about it seemed to be that people didn't like it. I, however, did like it. I actually like when authors put those sorts of endings into their books because I like to know just a basic summary of what happens after big huge story. For me, it's easier to put a book down and have a feeling of closure. It's more satisfactory for me.
The last thing I wanted to talk about was how everyone seemed to think that it was unrealistic for Min and Cal's families to go to Min's apartment to stop Cal from "seducing Min." To me, it seemed totally realistic because my dad's very protective of me. If he ever got a strange call saying some guy was seducing me to win a bet, he would definitely come to my house. He would probably bring his shotgun with him! And I'm not kidding. So, to me, it made perfect sense for Min's family, at least, to go to protect her. And it made sense for Cal's mom to go so that she wouldn't have to worry about him shaming her family - even though it didn't work.
Based on these points, I really don't think that the sex scene in Bet Me was pornographic at all. I think it was just a way to finally express all the sexual tension between Cal and Min and, while I think the book would have worked without that scene, I think it worked a whole lot better with that scene. There just didn't seem to be anything pornographic about it. It didn't have any of the elements we discussed.
We also talked about the epilogue that Jennifer Crusie put into the book. The general thought about it seemed to be that people didn't like it. I, however, did like it. I actually like when authors put those sorts of endings into their books because I like to know just a basic summary of what happens after big huge story. For me, it's easier to put a book down and have a feeling of closure. It's more satisfactory for me.
The last thing I wanted to talk about was how everyone seemed to think that it was unrealistic for Min and Cal's families to go to Min's apartment to stop Cal from "seducing Min." To me, it seemed totally realistic because my dad's very protective of me. If he ever got a strange call saying some guy was seducing me to win a bet, he would definitely come to my house. He would probably bring his shotgun with him! And I'm not kidding. So, to me, it made perfect sense for Min's family, at least, to go to protect her. And it made sense for Cal's mom to go so that she wouldn't have to worry about him shaming her family - even though it didn't work.
Today in class we talked about pornography in modern romance novels and just in general. Personally I don't think a little sex scene in a romance novel would be considered porn. When I think of porn I think of websites with explicit videos and movies that are only sold in adult stores. I also think porn is magazines like Playboy and Playgirl. I don't think women read romance novels with the intent that their is sex scenes but I think for most women that is definetly an added bonus. I also don't think women read them to get sexual satisfaction or to get an arousal. Class today was very interesting and it's nice to be able to talk to about something that isn't typical in and English class.
fairy tales and friends, among other things...
Fairy tales are different for everyone. Sometimes they have similar themes, but not everyone finds happiness in the same ways. In Bet Me Cal and Min are finding their fairy tales are saving each other in the process which is an important part in fairy tales coming each other.
When we talked about families and how we can't get away from them I think that's definitely true. But at the same time in the book how Min and Cal had their families they made from friends, I think this is a rather common thing these days. I have this with my friends, we are family. You get to be yourself and sometimes it feels like they know you more than your actually family. With my group of friends, we have been friends since seventh grade and even though we go through our rough patches, I'll know that things will eventually work out...
In today's discussion about porn, I thought it was weird that no one mentioned the negative aspect of people abusing it. Maybe no one sees this as negative but I do. I think that people can enjoy it but some people are so addicted to it, that it's all they do. If it affects their normal life than it's a problem!!
Lastly I wanted to just say that cultural differences with just talking about sex and porn can be vastly different! On my dad's side they are Muslims and I can't even imagine having our class discussion with them present. (Mostly the older generations since my cousins are mostly Americanized). Even with them being Americanized, it just seems so unimaginable for them to even talk about those topics with out being uncomfortable!!
When we talked about families and how we can't get away from them I think that's definitely true. But at the same time in the book how Min and Cal had their families they made from friends, I think this is a rather common thing these days. I have this with my friends, we are family. You get to be yourself and sometimes it feels like they know you more than your actually family. With my group of friends, we have been friends since seventh grade and even though we go through our rough patches, I'll know that things will eventually work out...
In today's discussion about porn, I thought it was weird that no one mentioned the negative aspect of people abusing it. Maybe no one sees this as negative but I do. I think that people can enjoy it but some people are so addicted to it, that it's all they do. If it affects their normal life than it's a problem!!
Lastly I wanted to just say that cultural differences with just talking about sex and porn can be vastly different! On my dad's side they are Muslims and I can't even imagine having our class discussion with them present. (Mostly the older generations since my cousins are mostly Americanized). Even with them being Americanized, it just seems so unimaginable for them to even talk about those topics with out being uncomfortable!!
Bet Me, Porn & Body Image
Jenna Jameson, porn star
I'll try to keep this somewhat brief. :) I thought the discussion in class today was very interesting. The topic of porn does seem to be quite controversial. In some ways I think it can be a very healthy thing to enjoy pornography, either solo or with a partner. I think it does allow us to have a bit of sexual freedom and to live vicariously through someone else. On the other hand, some people have a genuine addiction to it that interferes with either starting or keeping real relationships. I think most of us in class would agree that it promotes an unrealistic body image in woman, usually. Most popular porn star women are loaded with silicone, collagen, have unnatural tans, long hair, french manicures and not an ounce of cellulite or stretch marks in sight. You could see why this, coupled with the other forms of women in the media and Min's own mother, might have made her feel so self-conscious.
The truth is, beauty comes in all shapes and sizes. Maybe I'm just extra talented but I think I can find something beautiful in every single woman I see. Whether it's the curve of her hips or the soft color of her skin or her eyes or her hair or her voice or her lips. I think men can have self confidence issues, don't get me wrong. But I think as a culture we tend to be harder on women. Just pick up any tabloid magazine that screams LOOK AT THIS CELEB'S FLABBY BUTT!!! I mean, ouch! The truth is, we, as females, need to look inside ourselves to gain self-confidence. And that is a lot harder than it might seem. I once went through a bad relationship and placed so much worth on my physical appearance because on the inside, I felt worthless. I was like the opposite of Min- the better she feels about herself, the better she dresses, the better she looks, etc. I was a shell. The shittier I felt on the inside, the prettier I looked on the outside. I think the hard part is balancing who we are with who we want to be and letting our outside reflect that. It's not important that we look exactly like x person or that we fit into our skinny jeans. What matters is that we FEEL sexy and beautiful.
This is Crystal Renn, a stunning (in my opinion) plus-sized model.
This is what she used to look like...
At 5'9'' she weighed 95 pounds.
Which picture does she look happier?
This is not an anti-skinny girl post. But it is an anti-hating our bodies-post. What matters is not our size, but our health and happiness. And we need to be true to ourselves. An overweight woman with a bad wardrobe, like Min in the beginning of the book, who hates on men and has a bitchy attitude isn't attractive, to me. It wouldn't matter if she was super duper skinny with big boobs, either. I don't care if a woman is skinny, tall, curvy, plus-sized, short or whatever as long as she is confident in herself and positive. Shine on, ladies. We are ALL beautiful and we can be sexy, enjoy romance novels and pleasure. And porn, too, if that floats your boat :)
Pornography... Photography, whats the diff
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T-TA57L0kuc
^^Internet is for porn
Today in class was probably one of the most interesting classes yet, or so i thought anyway. It was definitely a real brain banger when Dr. J told us to define porn. The first that ran through my head was that "this should be easy".. ahh yah i was definitely proven wrong once the conversation started flowing and everyone started sharing their thoughts on this controversial subject. Like someone said in class, "i don't know the definition of it, but i know it when i see it" or something nailed it on the head i think. And i'm pretty sure thats everyones mindset, because porn is based on the persons morals and beliefs who you are asking about it. As for the book i highly disagree that this is porn because all it is text.. and when its text it is left up to the reader to visualize it and let their imagination take control of what is being said. If someone blatantly asked me to tell them what porn was the first that would probably pop in my mind is video porn where theres 2 people just going at it with all intentions of letting millions of other people watch their every move.. but hey there gettin' paid to get laid so don't be hatin' lol (or getting paid for there services as a regular office person would, right?) in a nut shell,no pun intended haha ;) the definition of porn is totally up to the person who is trying to define it, i truly think that no one person can put a definition on the word porn and state whether it is whorish, skanky, slutty, etc because everyone feels differently towards it.
peace, love, and porn
Define Porn :) ♥
The discussion today surprised me. I did not expect the discussion to be about defining what porn is, and how it affects everyone. This was an interesting discussion, but I would have to agree with the person who said,
I would have to agree with Amanda (I think that is her name) about the debate why pornography is okay to watch, but prostituition is not okay. And to find out that the first part of pornography means prostitution in Greek-that was quite a surprise. It kind of contradicts the whole issue of why it is okay for women to get paid for pornography, while prostitution is not okay. This is a great issue to think about, because I do not have an exact answer to this question.
Referring to the book, I did not enjoy the ending as much. It sounded too 'Disney' for me; the whole epilogue and the characters all summed up in a happily ever after. It just seemed to be too fast, at the same time I can understand why it was written to end that way. After the discussion of Min's character and how afraid she was of how the relationship with Cal would end ... but I thought love conquers all? Which means, Min should not be afraid of what would happen between Cal and her because he loves and decided to marry her? But as you have stated, the ending of the book provides an emotionally good kind of feeling with a happy ending. This happy ending is the level of hope that rides between Min and Cal from start to finish.
*Also, Christine's presentation of her romance books was fantastic! It really tied in with our conversation of pornography and how readers feel about it. Love it! ♥
"I can't define it, but I know it when I see it."That is a decent definition of what porn is because porn can be seen in a variety of ways. The list on the board was pretty interesting and silly too; some of the topics would intefere with the other and then the discussion would get heated up a bit.
I would have to agree with Amanda (I think that is her name) about the debate why pornography is okay to watch, but prostituition is not okay. And to find out that the first part of pornography means prostitution in Greek-that was quite a surprise. It kind of contradicts the whole issue of why it is okay for women to get paid for pornography, while prostitution is not okay. This is a great issue to think about, because I do not have an exact answer to this question.
Referring to the book, I did not enjoy the ending as much. It sounded too 'Disney' for me; the whole epilogue and the characters all summed up in a happily ever after. It just seemed to be too fast, at the same time I can understand why it was written to end that way. After the discussion of Min's character and how afraid she was of how the relationship with Cal would end ... but I thought love conquers all? Which means, Min should not be afraid of what would happen between Cal and her because he loves and decided to marry her? But as you have stated, the ending of the book provides an emotionally good kind of feeling with a happy ending. This happy ending is the level of hope that rides between Min and Cal from start to finish.
*Also, Christine's presentation of her romance books was fantastic! It really tied in with our conversation of pornography and how readers feel about it. Love it! ♥
PORN!!!!!
I really don't understand how some people can think that romantic novels are porn. Sure, I guess it depends on the person because lately who knows what weird shit turns people on. I think the main intentions of romance novels are just to provide a kind of escape for people. Their lives might not be exciting and the experiences laid out in these novels give these people chances to experience them through reading. You can really consider anything porn now days. Music videos and movies, pictures and magazines are all good examples of possible porn. There's a limitless amount of things that can arouse a person. The main aspects I think to classify something as porn are genitals exposed,lustful purposes which can end up degrading or exploiting that person(s). It's usually more of a visual thing then that of romance novels, which I feel tend to be more emotionally connected. The romance novel focuses more on the journey of the persons and the emotional growth between them rather then focusing only on sex in the way which porn does. I'm not saying people don't enjoy the sex scenes in romance novels it's just that I don't think they enjoy them THAT much. The truth is sex sells that's why it's everywhere in society. The popularity of romance novels and porn are similar because they both have ways of fulfilling needs for people. Sure one maybe more physical then the other but they still have a way of meeting those emotional and physical pleasures a person often needs in life. Sex and sexual innuendos are everywhere.
Check out "Let's talk about sex" by Salt an' Pepa
Check out "Let's talk about sex" by Salt an' Pepa
Fairy Tale Endings Change As We Do
I just wanted to talk a bit more on the topic of fairy tales and how all girls have them they just change and adapt as we do as we grow. I don't want to say that boys have fairy tales too because I don't know so they may as well go through what we do but they may not so I will write this from my aspect of once being that little girl with the dream of the fairy tale wedding and love and how over time the fairy tale has changed as I grew as a women. I believe that this happens to most girls just as I think that most little girls dream of their fairy tale representing the ones they watch and see in Disney movies and stories.
Which is another thing unto itself let's talk about that for a minute. The average Disney story is about a girl or princess who has some major problem or issue in their lives that they need to work through and the only way they can get through this problem is with the aid of the prince; they never seem to be able to work through their own problems on their own they always need the help from prince charming to solve them. What does that say to young girls? That they can not possible solve a problem or make it through life without the aid of a man. I know that they are just stories for the amusement of little ones, what when you start to think about the true meanings of these stories and look deeper into what is really going on it makes your think what are these films really representing?
But bask to the ever adapting fairy tale ending. You grow and change as a person so your fairy tale should grow and change with you and adapt to your needs and what you ultimately want and don't want. It is a great thing fairy tales it helps keep your dreams alive and helps to push forward when times are bad they are like a really great novel. They are apart of our dreams and how we are as girls and women. I even think that the fairy tales we had as little girls helped aid us in some of the decisions we made as we grew into women to put us in the right path of achieving our own true fairy tale ending.
Which is another thing unto itself let's talk about that for a minute. The average Disney story is about a girl or princess who has some major problem or issue in their lives that they need to work through and the only way they can get through this problem is with the aid of the prince; they never seem to be able to work through their own problems on their own they always need the help from prince charming to solve them. What does that say to young girls? That they can not possible solve a problem or make it through life without the aid of a man. I know that they are just stories for the amusement of little ones, what when you start to think about the true meanings of these stories and look deeper into what is really going on it makes your think what are these films really representing?
But bask to the ever adapting fairy tale ending. You grow and change as a person so your fairy tale should grow and change with you and adapt to your needs and what you ultimately want and don't want. It is a great thing fairy tales it helps keep your dreams alive and helps to push forward when times are bad they are like a really great novel. They are apart of our dreams and how we are as girls and women. I even think that the fairy tales we had as little girls helped aid us in some of the decisions we made as we grew into women to put us in the right path of achieving our own true fairy tale ending.
Bet Me
The ending of this book was pretty predictable, from the tone of the storyline it was obvious it was going to have the 'fairy tale' ending. It fit well within the context of the plot, even if it was expected. I think it was a bit 'cheesy' to say the least but I guess that fits within the whole aspect of a fairy tale ending. The book wasn't bad but it's not necessarily my type of novel, it was a real easy, entertaining read but it wasn't as deep as the other books we've read. It didn't have any real significant depth that spoke to me but I think it was a more light hearted style of book.
One of the things I found interesting was the aspect of Min's body image throughout the novel. In the beginning of the book she's insecure and has no confidence in her physical appearance. Like Cal had pointed out to her, she "dressed like she hates her body". Which seemed to hold true from the descriptions of her style in the first few chapters. By the end of the book she has more confidence in her physical appearance and a lot of this seems to be due to Cal's influence. We talked about this in class earlier this week but it was still something I keep thinking of, especially while I was reading the book. It's wonderful that he helped her self esteem but this confidence seems to be largely dependent on him. I have a feeling if they were to split up, permanently, this confidence would not still be present. Even just from the moments in the book when she became unsure of their relationship, her mindset easily sank into depression and that confidence seemed to vanish. Maybe I'm just a cynical person but I don't necessarily find confidence that depends upon a significant other to be healthy. The types of people that base their self worth on what others perceive are usually the ones who have the hardest time coping when they do go through a break-up, etc. It just doesn't seem like a healthy concept to me. It's wonderful that he helped her find confidence but I don't know if it's necessarily as fulfilling if that confidence is solely dependent on another person's approval/love/etc.
Overall, this book wasn't my favorite of the ones we've read. It was entertaining and easier to relate to since it is set in a more recent time period. Perhaps it was just the character of Min that discouraged me from really enjoying it. Don't get me wrong, she is definitely an enjoyable character, but she had some attributes I had a hard time agreeing with (as I mentioned above).
One of the things I found interesting was the aspect of Min's body image throughout the novel. In the beginning of the book she's insecure and has no confidence in her physical appearance. Like Cal had pointed out to her, she "dressed like she hates her body". Which seemed to hold true from the descriptions of her style in the first few chapters. By the end of the book she has more confidence in her physical appearance and a lot of this seems to be due to Cal's influence. We talked about this in class earlier this week but it was still something I keep thinking of, especially while I was reading the book. It's wonderful that he helped her self esteem but this confidence seems to be largely dependent on him. I have a feeling if they were to split up, permanently, this confidence would not still be present. Even just from the moments in the book when she became unsure of their relationship, her mindset easily sank into depression and that confidence seemed to vanish. Maybe I'm just a cynical person but I don't necessarily find confidence that depends upon a significant other to be healthy. The types of people that base their self worth on what others perceive are usually the ones who have the hardest time coping when they do go through a break-up, etc. It just doesn't seem like a healthy concept to me. It's wonderful that he helped her find confidence but I don't know if it's necessarily as fulfilling if that confidence is solely dependent on another person's approval/love/etc.
Overall, this book wasn't my favorite of the ones we've read. It was entertaining and easier to relate to since it is set in a more recent time period. Perhaps it was just the character of Min that discouraged me from really enjoying it. Don't get me wrong, she is definitely an enjoyable character, but she had some attributes I had a hard time agreeing with (as I mentioned above).
Fairy tale or Porn?
Definitely not porn! First off Ithink as a society we need a new definition for pornography. All of the definitions given in class were very vague, archaic, and negative in nature. I think we need to define pornography from a very scientific and philosophical view, and not our very opinionated Christian culture. I think many things in our society, whether it is drugs, alcohol, sex, etc, should be the choice of the individual in their own home. Only when it negatively affects another person in public or a minor should it then have a negative consequence to it. You leave me alone and I leave you alone. If that simple sentence was followed I think we would be better as a society. I think we need some kind of a universal standard in public and as a culture, but we need to accept our private lives as that and accept it and leave it alone.
As far as the book goes it is not pornographic. It was a very enjoyable and mostly realistic love story. The sex scene in the book was very erotic and tasteful. It fit well with how the characters were portrayed throughout the book. The epilogue was unnecessary and did not flow with the rest of the book. The friends and family coming to the rescue scene was a little unrealistic and over the top. Not really a whole lot to say about this book and pornography. There is no comparison to make.
The discussion in class today was interesting and showed how opinionated we all are when our private lives and opinions are made public. We kind of tip toed around the topic and still managed to show how personal the topic of pornography in our culture really is. I am now of the opinion that even the Harlequin Romance Novels are not pornographic, but a valid form of entertainment that many people seem to desire. Just as porn fulfills some need for some, so do romance novels....To each their own...
My fairytale
I have never really thought about what my fairytale would be like, but when we did the exercise on Tuesday I realized that I'm not too far off. I still have so many things that I want to do in my life, but I realized that I am on the right track. Besides the stresses of school, bills, etc, I am generally a happy person and I really believe that I have a wonderful life. Doing this exercise made me realize that I shouldn't get all worked up over little things that will never mean anything or have a huge effect on my life. Being a bartender people come to me when they're drinking and spill they're guts about how bad they have it and how their wife/husband sucks. I think this is one reason I choose not to drink, because there are many times when one drinks and says things that they don't mean. I have dreamed about having the life of Bella with Edward, but I still would never give up what I have now. Everybody has their own love story and situation, but I think it only works when you see it as your own and not compare it to everyone else.
Feminist Fiction?
In the article that we read a couple weeks ago, Let Us Now Praise Scribbling Women, Jennifer Crusie suggests that the genre of romance fiction is in fact a new form of feminist fiction. Her argument for this statement is that romance fiction offers “female protagonists in stories that promised that if a woman fought for what she believed in and searched for the truth, she could strip away the old lies about her life and emerge re-born, transformed with that new sense of self that’s the prize at the end of any quest.” Crusie seems to imply that it is better for women to be portrayed this way, and that this form of writing truly represents the “stories of women”.
In Bet Me, Min does seem to fit Crusie’s criteria for the romance fiction to a T. In the beginning of the story, Min is self-conscious and allows her opinion of herself to be formed by others, but by the end of the story we see Min emerge as her own person, transformed throughout the story to become her best possible self.
I have to politely disagree with Crusie’s criteria for the romance genre. While Crusie argues that this new female portrayal represents feminism, I think it does just the opposite, and her character Min is a great example. Although Min does make quite a transformation throughout the book, it seems that she is doing it simply to acquire the “prize” of a dreamy man. To me, Crusie seems to be implying that women’s one quest in life should be to find a man, and then do whatever she can to hold on tight. While Crusie calls this feminism, I would call this another way for women to try to fit themselves into a man-centric society. Rather than strong and courageous, Min strikes me as meek and somewhat pitiful, and doesn’t seem to ever find out who she wants to be, just for herself.
Bet Me and Other Relationships
In this novel, other Characters have a huge impact upon Cal and Mel's relationship. For instance, their friends. Because Cal's friends keep making bets with him about Mel, is the reason that they keep coming together - reluctantly, then not so reluctantly. Mel's friends are very wary about this relationship that has blossomed between her and Cal, especially Liza. Bonnie believes that it's Fate and it's totally going to be alright, which it will, but Liza doesn't think so. She does Cal's dirty laundry by getting information from Cynthie, Cal's ex-girlfriend.
Another time when relationships have an impact upon their relationship is because of their Family. Cal's nephew also seems to bring Mel closer to their family, simply because he pretty much just loves her, and Mel really likes him as well. Mel's mother is very nit-picky, and very rude to Mel, always nagging on her about her diet, about her looks, her weight and doesn't seem to fully appreciate Mel. Cal's parents don't appear very much in this novel, but they are very cold, and Cal can't stand going to dinner with them every third Sunday.
Another relationship that overcomes in this novel, isn't by a person, but by a Cat. Not just any cat, a Cat that Cal accidentally let into Mel's apartment - whom Mel adopted and named Elvis. Yes, it was by mistake, but the cat brings them closer together and almost helps mold them into "a family." Elvis is truly happy with Mel, and he likes Calvin. He's probably the only one that is fully accepting of them in the novel, Ha ha.
This novel is very cute, and fun and sexy. Mel and Cal tend to let the opinion and relationships of others dictate how they should be to and with each other. They really break that trend in the last few chapters, when they are together in Mel's apartment, and they are "fooling around" and both of their parents, friends, ex-girlfriend/boyfriend, all barge in. The families and friends are doubtful of their love for each other, so because of that, Cal proposes to Mel (with a doughnut as the ring) to prove to them that this is real. Of course he redoes it later on with a real ring, but still.
This is a very good novel, and I'm really glad that it was chosen for this class. I'm excited to see what'll happen in our next novel! :)
Another time when relationships have an impact upon their relationship is because of their Family. Cal's nephew also seems to bring Mel closer to their family, simply because he pretty much just loves her, and Mel really likes him as well. Mel's mother is very nit-picky, and very rude to Mel, always nagging on her about her diet, about her looks, her weight and doesn't seem to fully appreciate Mel. Cal's parents don't appear very much in this novel, but they are very cold, and Cal can't stand going to dinner with them every third Sunday.
Another relationship that overcomes in this novel, isn't by a person, but by a Cat. Not just any cat, a Cat that Cal accidentally let into Mel's apartment - whom Mel adopted and named Elvis. Yes, it was by mistake, but the cat brings them closer together and almost helps mold them into "a family." Elvis is truly happy with Mel, and he likes Calvin. He's probably the only one that is fully accepting of them in the novel, Ha ha.
This novel is very cute, and fun and sexy. Mel and Cal tend to let the opinion and relationships of others dictate how they should be to and with each other. They really break that trend in the last few chapters, when they are together in Mel's apartment, and they are "fooling around" and both of their parents, friends, ex-girlfriend/boyfriend, all barge in. The families and friends are doubtful of their love for each other, so because of that, Cal proposes to Mel (with a doughnut as the ring) to prove to them that this is real. Of course he redoes it later on with a real ring, but still.
This is a very good novel, and I'm really glad that it was chosen for this class. I'm excited to see what'll happen in our next novel! :)
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Fables and Fairytales.
We all have our dreams and fairytales what we wish for from the time we could talk until the time we die. When we were little our fairytales were based on the Disney movies like Snow White and Sleeping Beauty, we all dream of being a princess and finding our prince charming. Well, at least for girls I'm sure that was a common fairytale dream.
Our dream may change over time and we may not get exactly what we dreamed about. We might not get that knight in shining armor that saves us from the evil witch or from the dragon in the tall tower. But we all get what we want in the end. We end with our own fairytale, one that is just as good. It might not have dragons and a big beautiful wedding gown and a ball but it give us our happily ever after.
Our dream may change over time and we may not get exactly what we dreamed about. We might not get that knight in shining armor that saves us from the evil witch or from the dragon in the tall tower. But we all get what we want in the end. We end with our own fairytale, one that is just as good. It might not have dragons and a big beautiful wedding gown and a ball but it give us our happily ever after.
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Love and Fairy Tales
After having our free write quiz in class, it really made me think what my perfect fairy tale would be. Still taking the time to think about it I cannot come up with a perfect answer. As a little girl and I'm sure like many other girls it was easy to come up with a fairy tale. They typical perfect happy family with lots of money, nice house, and expensive cars. Only the best would be expected and love would be included to make things perfect. As we read the books for class all of them follow a love stories and we can picture what the fairy tale of the story would be. As our perfect fairy tale changes through life I believe so does our definition of love. When we started the class and we read Pride and Prejudice the emotions of love were not very physical and more based on what society would think. Now reading Bet Me we see that the emotions and feelings of love are increasing with more intercourse. Not trying to say that's what everyone thinks love is about, but it seems to be more common now. I feel that with every fairy tale comes some form of love and since every ones view of love is different nobody can have the same fairy tale or make one out and follow it at every step. I almost feel as if people are making their fairy tale as they live life. If you want something to be better then you have to strive to achieve it. So as we move on into life I feel that the views of things keep changing therefore we may never know what a perfect fairy tale is or what the right definition of love is either.
Friday, April 15, 2011
Bet Me(Sorry this is late)
Last summer I babysat for my cousins in Suamico. Because they lived 35 miles away I pretty much lived there the whole summer. I didn't know anyone out there and had nothing to do so I did a lot of reading. My aunt brought me books from the library that were all romance novels like the one were reading right now. While reading Bet Me I started to pull together a list of similarities in my mind about all the modern romance novels I have read. The two main characters always seem to start off hating each other and they are always complete opposites. The man is always completly gorgeous and the woman isn't ugly but she lacks self esteem. There seems to be a sister in a lot of these books who is prettier, smarter, and is the favorite of the family. The two main characters always find that there is an intense sexual attraction to each other throughout the book that turns into love. Although the books all have similarities they all have completly different story lines. This is no different for the book we are currently reading. I really enjoy this book and I have about 5 more pages to read until I am done. The characters are all realistic and thats why I like it so much.
Love story on a new leave
Hmm i think that Dobbs is really making this LOVE STORY on a whole new level of love stories. I like it because unlike all the other love stories whenever they liked someone they would always try forcing love and doing silly things like that. I think the way her character handles the sistuation and the word love is different and it makes the way i look at the book different. She dont loo into a guys eyes in the beginning and fall madly in love and chases him around in a garden and they tackle each other and kiss and then its the most best seen in world. Dobbs knows that true love is hard to find and she looks at it as a fairytale. && knowing that happier ever after are only things girls dream about. But then she actually does start to get some stronger feelings more at the end. I think this is a different kind of love story and i like it because its more realistic and more of the kind of love stories you would hear from someone you know.
The List
We each have our own list of traits and characteristics that our "ideal life partner" should have. Let's see, I for one, like tall men, well, he has to be taller than me even if I wear high heels. He has to be really good-looking, good-looking enough that my heart skips a beat every time I look at him. Good-looking enough that I my eyes wouldn't be wandering at other men, when I'm with him. LoL! He has to be smart, athletic, kind-hearted, gentle, suave, have good manners, neat, and have a positive attitude. AND of course, he has to have a nice, hot body to look at! It's already hard enough with dating and finding the right "one." Let alone have a characteristics list to check off with each guy. We, as women, are picky, but in the end, we only want to be with someone to love us, have a marriage and children with and grow old with us.
I know how hard it is for Minerva and Calvin when some of those characteristics on our mental list doesn't check off. But if we look past the outside onto the inside, we'll each find that we're similar afterall. If we're satisfied with the inner core, we don't really need the outside shell to be beautiful to be happy. How many stories have we heard or seen, that not all beautiful people are satisified with their lives and their partners? How many times have we heard of the handsome, hot lawyer or doctor cheating and their spouses are un-happy? Therefore, shouldn't we learn to allow ourselves not to be too picky? I suppose, as long as some of the characteristics on our mental lists of wants for our "ideal" partner is checked off, it is good enough.
As if dating and finding the right one isn't hard enough for Minerva, she has her mother to make things harder for her. Everyone of us has one of those in our lives. It's hard to ignore them and do our own things and in turn, be happy. Just one negative can turn ten positives into a dreadful, gloomy day.
I felt that Jennifer Crusie did a wonderful job in writing, Bet Me. It's about "real life." About what some of us women go through to find the our "guy," about what supports in life we have and about the positives and negatives in life.
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Bet Me
I really liked this book, it was a really fast read and definitely an addicting one. I like the author's style and her opinions like in the articles posted on D2L by her. It really opens new insight into the world of romance literature, one that I really wasn't all too farmilar with for the most part until I took this class. I definitely will be pursuing more of her books now that I've read this one.
I really enjoy the main character, Minerva, the most. I love watching the way her personality evolves and strengthens as she becomes closer to Cal. The connection they begin with each other involving food is a very interesting one, reminds me of Like Water For Chocolate. It's an unusual way for a man to realize he's attracted to a woman, but I think it's perfectly fitting for the underlining message the author may be trying to send. Especially since there is such a pressure in our society that thin is beautiful. It is refreshing to see a main character that doesn't fit that standard and is still described as beautiful and viewed as such. This really shows a certain depth to Cal's character as well, to not be influenced by societal stereotypes.
Minerva's mother is an absolute nightmare! It is easy to see where a lot of Min's insecurities came from that are more apparent in the beginning of the book. The obsession over butter and carbs is beyond ridiculous to me. It's hard for me to imagine having a mother that could be so controlling and obsessive with weight. I think the author is making some nice connections that could be pointing to the underlining weight issues within our culture. It's a good way to bring these issues into the open, especially when viewing them from Min's eyes.
I really enjoy the main character, Minerva, the most. I love watching the way her personality evolves and strengthens as she becomes closer to Cal. The connection they begin with each other involving food is a very interesting one, reminds me of Like Water For Chocolate. It's an unusual way for a man to realize he's attracted to a woman, but I think it's perfectly fitting for the underlining message the author may be trying to send. Especially since there is such a pressure in our society that thin is beautiful. It is refreshing to see a main character that doesn't fit that standard and is still described as beautiful and viewed as such. This really shows a certain depth to Cal's character as well, to not be influenced by societal stereotypes.
Minerva's mother is an absolute nightmare! It is easy to see where a lot of Min's insecurities came from that are more apparent in the beginning of the book. The obsession over butter and carbs is beyond ridiculous to me. It's hard for me to imagine having a mother that could be so controlling and obsessive with weight. I think the author is making some nice connections that could be pointing to the underlining weight issues within our culture. It's a good way to bring these issues into the open, especially when viewing them from Min's eyes.
The Food Connection & Love/Sex Scenes
So I wanted to write about 2 different ideas for my blog. The first being that I find it interesting that both Like Water for Chocolate and Bet Me use food in some main way in the two storylines. Food is such an integral part of our lives and to turn food into what connects a couple in the way Crusie has done makes me want to keep turning the page to see what happens next.
In class, we touched on the whole sex/love scene aspect of romance novels. I do think that any good writer has the ability to write a good love/sex scene, it just depends on what the author decides to do with that and for me, what they do can either make or break the scene. I have read a number of romance novels in my life by a few different authors. I can say that there have been times when I would reread what I just read because it made me think either, "what did I just read?" or "is that all?". Other authors seem to like dragging the scene on a little too long. What I really dislike is when an author feels the need to say things in a way instead of just flat out saying the actual word. For instance, saying long, hard manly member instead of long, hard penis. I know there are people that would prefer the flowery, tamer version, if you will, but not me. I am more of the "just say what you mean" type person.
In class, we touched on the whole sex/love scene aspect of romance novels. I do think that any good writer has the ability to write a good love/sex scene, it just depends on what the author decides to do with that and for me, what they do can either make or break the scene. I have read a number of romance novels in my life by a few different authors. I can say that there have been times when I would reread what I just read because it made me think either, "what did I just read?" or "is that all?". Other authors seem to like dragging the scene on a little too long. What I really dislike is when an author feels the need to say things in a way instead of just flat out saying the actual word. For instance, saying long, hard manly member instead of long, hard penis. I know there are people that would prefer the flowery, tamer version, if you will, but not me. I am more of the "just say what you mean" type person.
Some Random Thoughts...
I think we had a great discussion today in class but if anything it has left me more unsure of how I feel about Bet Me. Let's start with the bad: I thought the book was just eh for the first several chapters. I found the descriptions tired, the dialogue not very authentic and I just couldn't care about any of the characters. And I stand by my opinion that I think some of the dialogue is just plain annoying, specifically when referencing other characters. "Your Calvin" "Your Minerva" "The Suit" "The Beast" "The Girl in the gray-checked suit" "The One" "This One" etc.... I'm also finding some of the novel repetitive with all of the times Elvis (varying forms) and chicken marsala are in there. Like, the actual words. It seems like those words are crammed in the novel more times than some of the characters. And, I have to clarify my statement today about finding it odd that they ate the Italian dish soooo many times. I really do understand- in my life I have favorite foods that I eat all the time. And I understand the characters like it. I just don't want to have to read about it so much. I guess it pulls me out of the story. Maybe I'm just weird, though... Now on to the good: The author does a nice job of developing character. I really didn't like Min in the beginning. I love how the use of food and her relationship with Cal is bringing out her softer yet more confident side. I actually like her now! I actually want to keep reading. I also think that Cruisie is great at setting. And, she can write a sexy scene without resorting to the over the top "throbbing manhood" type of language we mentioned today in class. So, for me this book is not hit or miss. It's hit AND miss. I like it but I dislike some parts of it. I don't know if I'll read it again. I guess it depends on how I feel at the end.
im not sure what to write.
I really like the book so far. some of my favorite stories are the couple that start out hating each other, then start to like each other but still pretend to not like each other and resist their feeling, then finally give in to their feeling. I think I will recommend this book to my mom. lol
I think Min is a little too worried about her appearance or more her waist size, I guess her mom doesn't help.. I think everyone is a little too worried nowadays, everyone tells me they are on a diet.. they are fat.. they need to lose wait.. Why this is happening is because of the media. People magazine just a few month ago put out another issue look at these celebrities and their cellulite. Really?! Because the media makes fun of celebrity's weight and looks, other people feel like they are being judge, they need to be the perfect image, just like the zero size models and young new movie stars and singers. And if someone gains weight in Hollywood you will never hear the end of it..
I think it shouldn't matter. If someone is healthy and able to walk and do everything else on their own, it shouldn't matter. I wish i live back during renaissances age where pale healthy people meant rich and wealth.
I think Min is a little too worried about her appearance or more her waist size, I guess her mom doesn't help.. I think everyone is a little too worried nowadays, everyone tells me they are on a diet.. they are fat.. they need to lose wait.. Why this is happening is because of the media. People magazine just a few month ago put out another issue look at these celebrities and their cellulite. Really?! Because the media makes fun of celebrity's weight and looks, other people feel like they are being judge, they need to be the perfect image, just like the zero size models and young new movie stars and singers. And if someone gains weight in Hollywood you will never hear the end of it..
I think it shouldn't matter. If someone is healthy and able to walk and do everything else on their own, it shouldn't matter. I wish i live back during renaissances age where pale healthy people meant rich and wealth.
life's like an hour glass glued to the table
Within the dating world there are many different perceptions on what the "perfect" first date may be. The intentions of the date and financial situations of the people can end up being major determinants of where or what the date may be. With dating you can never know what to expect. Sometimes the "blinders" come on and you may only end up seeing the parts you want in you new found companion. That's why people have friends to help them realize the full potential of a person. I feel that's what Bonnie and Liza are doing with Min. They just want the best for their friend and are tying to look out for her. They do have quiet amusing ways of doing this. Bonnie and Liza open Min's eyes to things she might have never noticed, but this is mostly about her own self and how she is afraid of taking chances, her body and how she doesn't realize she can be happy and with someone who loves her even because of her flaws. Min's friends help but when it comes to people putting her down her mother is the queen bitch. She reminds me of Mrs. Bennet from "Pride and Prejudice",always pushing her daughters to act a certain way or get a husband instantly. That's just something moms shouldn't do. It will happen when it happens. You can't rush love (even though people do seem to fall easily in "Bet Me"). I really enjoy this book mostly the fact that Cal is helping Min to discover herself and show her a differnt way of of life, not always filled with restrictions. I think I should apply these ways of living outside the box to my own life. I tend to always take the safer route, but I think it's about time for a change.
Real People, Real Story
Let me start by saying that Jennifer Crusie is now one of my favorite authors. I love how "Bet Me" doesn't have predictable characters: they each have their own distinct personalities that offer something completely different. The characters that Crusie created feel almost like real people that I would want to talk to. They each have their own pet peeves, flaws, and quirks that come through beautifully without explanation.
While reading this book, I was constantly hoping that Cal and Min would just realize how much they love each other and date. That made this book a definite page-turner. Another interesting thing was that the situations were so real, they were written as if most were already experienced. To me, it's great to be able to read a book that seems real.
Lastly, I loved how Crusie doesn't make the main character a cookie-cutter version of every other romance heroin. Min is not stick thin, she has a mind of her own, and is independent. It's refreshing to know that someone realizes that there's more than just one look for a woman. To get that character in this book is simply amazing. I think it makes Min even more relatable because she isn't the typical stick-thin blond. Oh, how I love this book!
While reading this book, I was constantly hoping that Cal and Min would just realize how much they love each other and date. That made this book a definite page-turner. Another interesting thing was that the situations were so real, they were written as if most were already experienced. To me, it's great to be able to read a book that seems real.
Lastly, I loved how Crusie doesn't make the main character a cookie-cutter version of every other romance heroin. Min is not stick thin, she has a mind of her own, and is independent. It's refreshing to know that someone realizes that there's more than just one look for a woman. To get that character in this book is simply amazing. I think it makes Min even more relatable because she isn't the typical stick-thin blond. Oh, how I love this book!
Bonnie
There's been some discussion questioning the relationship between Bonnie and Roger. Is it real, or are they rushing way too fast into something that they only want to feel? I believe that their love is real. To me, the fact that Roger is already planning to ask Bonnie to marry him after only a few weeks isn't strange at all. They both know exactly what they want: each other. They aren't afraid of getting hurt because they know they won't. They know that they're meant for each other and they're not afraid to admit it. They have complete confidence in their relationship, and in the end that confidence is going to be what keeps them together.
In fact, Bonnie seems to be the only character in Bet Me who really sees what's going on with Cal and Min. At first, at least, since Cal doesn't seem to be willing to fight the chemistry between them anymore. But Bonnie's the only one who's willing to admit she's in love when she is, so it makes sense that she'd be able to see when someone else is in love when they don't want to admit it. She's going through great pains to convince Min that she loves Cal, when she really doesn't want to be convinced of that. I wonder how much more convincing Min will need to understand that she should just give in to her feelings.
In fact, Bonnie seems to be the only character in Bet Me who really sees what's going on with Cal and Min. At first, at least, since Cal doesn't seem to be willing to fight the chemistry between them anymore. But Bonnie's the only one who's willing to admit she's in love when she is, so it makes sense that she'd be able to see when someone else is in love when they don't want to admit it. She's going through great pains to convince Min that she loves Cal, when she really doesn't want to be convinced of that. I wonder how much more convincing Min will need to understand that she should just give in to her feelings.
Connection of food again...
In Bet Me and Like Water for Chocolate there is a definite connection to food and emotions. In Bet Me Min denies herself good food and because of that Cal can use food to get to know her. Because she denies herself good food and because she enjoys food so much, it kind of becomes an almost sexual thing between herself and Cal. I love that Cal enjoys how much she enjoys food because of the stereotype out there that most guys want a girl who may like food but are skinny, while Min isn't exactly skinny. In class some one said that eating the same thing or going to the same place multiple times in a week was weird, but I don't think it is!! When I really like something (like RICE!!) I can eat it a bunch of times in a week. Also for restaurants whenever I go to a restaurant multiple times, I always get the same thing, I mean I'm open to trying new foods, its just I prefer to get things that I already know are good, that will make me happy to eat! Lastly I wanted to mention how some people in class said that it was weird or that it doesn't happen, that in the book Min's group of friends and Cal's group of friends were dating each other. In my school that happened quite a lot and even outside of that, we can see that all the time. So basically I don't think its weird at all, because I've seen it so much. Also though it might just be where we live, because people act differently in different areas of the world.
The Minerva/Cal Theory
For the first time I can completely understand where a character is coming form on every level; Minerva is the ultimate Tiffany! She comes off extremely insecure, but in reality because she is honest with her personal issues, she is by default the most secure. It takes a very strong person to be honest about her weight issues and completely open to a man about everything going on in her mind (well most things, not the positive things she things of him). It is actually funny that a character named Minerva is the one I can see myself in, my cat is named Minerva.Another thing I would like to talk about is the three big love theories discussed in the novel. We have the “fairytale” romance theory, the psychological steps in love theory, and the chaos theory. Bonnie and Roger are in fact the definition of the “fairytale” romance. Bonnie and Roger fell head over heels at first sight, and knew that the other would want to marry them at an exact same time frame. Bonnie constantly talks about the Prince Charming who would come and pick her up off her feet, rescuing her from the normal world. Both are severely optimistic and can see a future of eternal happiness for them. Then we have Cynthie’s theory that she is an “expert” on. She believes in a set order of states the relationship must take, with concrete definitions, and predictable outcomes. Unfortunately she still believes that Cal will come back to her and complete this theory, which she then will be able to complete her novel and have their picture in. What she does not realize is that her own theory is being proven, in the stage her and Cal are “supposed” to be in, the couple decides if they will spend their lives together. He just decided that he does not, and she has decided that they will. Then we have Tony’s chaos theory, that no matter what you do, how hard you try to avoid them, or any precautions you set that there is a magnetic pull that bring you together. A fate theory that can come into your life at any point and disrupt the whole stability of your current life.
With that said, I believe all three theories are at play within Cal and Minerva’s romance. Though, it seems the chaos theory is the largest component, they all have their place. As we discussed in class, the food kind of acts as they magnet for their attraction, and we also went in to detail numerous other times about how the chaos theory is at play. So, instead of restating the already spoken, I will show examples of the other two theories at play. Cynthie’s theory is working inexact pattern, they have had the attraction, the infactuation, and so on; and though they may ignore what family and friends may say(since it is split), the steps still continue. Cynthie even realizes this within the novel and constantly warns David, and no matter what they do to interfere it does not matter, they are too far into the formula of her theory. The fairy tale is evident as well, though they are elongating the process, it is there. He treats he like a princess, brings her food, finds her long lost snow globe, brings her a cat, feeds her, and stands up for her. Her mother is more like an evil stepmother, and she even states that fact. Also, there is a wedding involved, and she is waiting for that prince(“Elvis”). Also, her snow globes are Disney(weird) and are couples. It all interconnects, and all the theories interconnect.
Min and Cal is it Love?
What I like about the novel bet me is the main relationship between cal and min, they are more alike than either one realizes. They do have their differences and they are big differences like the careers they have, one a risk taker the other one analyzes the risk before making the move. They are so perfect for each other they don’t realize it they are blinded by the bet which put them in each other’s lives. They get the hints, “this one, this is the one”, or Emilio telling cal that min is the one for him they both are to blinded to see the true love that is there between them.
People always say that if it is true love you will know. Well in some cases like this one they need a little help and some pushing to open their eyes to the true love that is right under their noses. They are both stubborn and set in their ways that it is hard to see. Cal and min complement one another; they also seem to bring out the best of themselves and each other when they are together. Cal brings out that side of min that you only see in her shoes the part of her with her guard down and that is a little wild. Whereas min turns cal into the warm hearted caring man his truly is that can be goofy and silly, helps him to realize that he doesn’t have to be the man’s man.
They helped each other realize that having a plan and sticking to the plan isn’t always the way to go sometimes you need to deviate from that plan and roll with the changes especially when you always seem to be running into each other that should be a sign in its self. I mean they told each other after their first date that they would go their separate ways and never see each other again. But then they always seem to be running into each other and making plans to see each other again no matter what false pretences they use to explain their reasoning for seeing each other, they just can’t seem to understand that they are draw to each other for whatever reason.
I enjoy that these two care for each other so much that they defend the other to friends, but they don’t want to admit to everyone that they like each other and are in love; they can admit it to themselves but are not completely honest with each other and those close to them. I think that they are a cute couple and that they are perfect for one another. Their relationship draws you in and holds you tight and keeps you turning the pages and wanting more.
People always say that if it is true love you will know. Well in some cases like this one they need a little help and some pushing to open their eyes to the true love that is right under their noses. They are both stubborn and set in their ways that it is hard to see. Cal and min complement one another; they also seem to bring out the best of themselves and each other when they are together. Cal brings out that side of min that you only see in her shoes the part of her with her guard down and that is a little wild. Whereas min turns cal into the warm hearted caring man his truly is that can be goofy and silly, helps him to realize that he doesn’t have to be the man’s man.
They helped each other realize that having a plan and sticking to the plan isn’t always the way to go sometimes you need to deviate from that plan and roll with the changes especially when you always seem to be running into each other that should be a sign in its self. I mean they told each other after their first date that they would go their separate ways and never see each other again. But then they always seem to be running into each other and making plans to see each other again no matter what false pretences they use to explain their reasoning for seeing each other, they just can’t seem to understand that they are draw to each other for whatever reason.
I enjoy that these two care for each other so much that they defend the other to friends, but they don’t want to admit to everyone that they like each other and are in love; they can admit it to themselves but are not completely honest with each other and those close to them. I think that they are a cute couple and that they are perfect for one another. Their relationship draws you in and holds you tight and keeps you turning the pages and wanting more.
o lala, a donut!
When I first picked up the novels for this class I kind of looked through them to see what kind of romance novels I was getting into. When I started reading the first couple of pages of "Bet Me", I didn't put it down and I eventually finished the book before the first day of class. I enjoyed the general story line of the book. It was mostly realistic and interesting. However, there are some parts that I just don't care for at all. The first thing I don't like is how Min and Cal hear "The One" in their heads. Seriously? I also don't like how she almost orgasms when she eats and how Cal thinks its sexy when she stuffs her face. I understand food is a connector of these two characters, but I just think its kind of weird how Cal goes crazy over it. I never in my life sat there and watched someone enjoy food. I would just be annoyed if I had to watch someone totally absorbed in the food they ate......but that's just me. In this book I really don't like Cynthie. I think she needs her own psychologist. For how much the novel portrays Cynthie as being beautiful and sexy you would think she could move on fairly easy and find someone else. The novel hits it on the head with the idea of psychologists thinking they know the answers to everything. I have had many experiences with psychology teachers thinking that their answers were the only right answer. I always noticed how they have a hard time accepting other ideas besides their own.
Quit fighting and just date already!
This book is great! However it can be very frustrating to read at times when I can so closely relate to the characters and situations they are in. I find myself thinking out loud all of the time. I am just waiting for them to accept the inevitable and date already. It is not just that they need to give into the physical, it is the fact that they just need to accept that they genuinely like each other.
This is one of my biggest pet peeves in the dating world. One of the parties involved is usually not honest enough up front or gives mixed signals. On top of all of that someone also does what Min and Cal are doing, which is denying their true feelings for each other. This may be because of past experiences and hurts that they have experienced. That is not to say that caution is not appropriate in the beginning of a friendship or new relationship. I feel that the caution should be tempered with honesty and less game playing.
For example if you ask someone out and things seem to go great and you try to set up the next date, but they are always unavailable or do not return your messages then honesty would be the most appropriate course of action from both people. If the person is genuinely not interested then they should just say "I had a great time, but do not want to go out again", rather than lead a person on or play hard to get. If for some reason they are interested but cautious because of past hurts then they should tell the other person that. They should say something to the effect of " I had great time and would like to see you again, but I would like to take it slow". Both of these approaches are honest and are not overly hurtful to either person. It is this lack of honesty and communication that destroys or inhibits many relationships in this day and age.
To bring this back to the book, if Minerva would have told Cal that she new about the bet then he would have had the opportunity to be honest with her. They then could have talked about it and moved forward from there. They may have not seen each other again, but at least the lie would be out in the open. After a few weeks of the truth being out there it may have been possible for them to still fall for each other with out any false pretenses. According to the book, the chaos and fairy tale theories will bring them together regardless of their actions. I just think that it would be nice if their actions were a little more honest. Honesty aside, it is a nice story and realistic for the most part.
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